A wedding is supposed to be a joyous celebration of a couple’s love for each other.
Some brides and grooms choose to celebrate more extravagantly, while others operate on a tight budget, but either way, the expenses are the couple’s responsibility — perhaps with some help from their parents. One bride didn’t quite grasp this concept, though, and tried to saddle her guests with the cost.
The bride insisted on charging her family a ‘wedding tax’ to attend.
The sister of a bride posted on Reddit looking for advice.
“My younger sister, ‘Emily,’ is getting married in a couple of months, and, while I’m super happy for her, there’s been some drama over the whole wedding planning process,” she explained.
“Emily and her fiancé decided to have a small wedding, which I totally understand, but they also decided to impose a ‘wedding tax’ on family members attending the wedding,” she wrote.
“They have a list of ‘wedding expenses’ — things like venue decor and catering — and they expect each family member to contribute extra to make it all happen,” she continued. “To top it off, her fiancé’s family is also chipping in, making the whole thing feel less like a celebration and more like a business deal.”
When the Redditor learned about the wedding tax, she told her sister that she thought it was unfair to expect the family to both cover the cost of the wedding and bring a gift. The pair then got into “a huge argument.”
“It turned into a shouting match,” she admitted. “I told her that weddings should be about love, not financial burdens.”
“In the weeks that followed, she refused to speak to me and even blocked my number for a while,” she added. “I felt really hurt, but then I received an invitation to the wedding — complete with a note saying that if I wasn’t ‘(chipping) in,’ I shouldn’t bother coming.”
Now, the woman is questioning if she should attend her sister’s wedding.
“I’ve been debating whether to go or not,” she admitted. “On (the) one hand, I want to support my sister, but on the other hand, I feel like it’s really messed up to so blatantly ask for cash from family.”
“Am I being a jerk for standing my ground on what I believe should be a joyful occasion and not a financial obligation?” she questioned.
When a commenter asked exactly how much the woman would have to contribute to the wedding fund, she responded and said family members were expected to give $250 to $1,000. She also revealed that friends are subject to the “wedding tax” as well, and will be giving $50 to $100.
Charging guests to attend your wedding has become a bit of a trend.
While it seems bizarre to charge your invited guests to attend your wedding, it does happen — and seems to be becoming more common.
For example, ABC 7 News from New York reported on couple Nova and Reemo Styles, who charged their guests $333 a piece to attend. They decided to “(think) of their nuptials like a concert and (charge) guests to attend their celebration.”
While it’s certainly not the norm, the Styles’ — and this Redditor’s sister — may have been on to something. According to The Knotthe average wedding in the U.S. in 2023 cost $35,000. Many couples choose to go beyond this price tag so they can have everything they want for their big day.
With money like that being spent, it likely makes sense to some to charge for wedding attendance, hopefully, in lieu of gifts, not in addition.
Still, it’s important to remember that your wedding is an event that you’re putting on for your guests as much as yourself. It’s probably best to avoid charging for it.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
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