Many women were raised to always be polite and take up as little space as possible. Say sorry and make those around them feel comfortable. Well, no more of that.
Twenty-nine-year-old content creator Brooke, known as @lilwitchhhhh on TikTokhas had enough of this people-pleasing behavior and encouraged young women to set boundaries that prevent them from being walked all over.
“If there is any advice that I can give anybody in their 20s it’s learn how to be a (b-) early on,” she said. “I don’t mean that I love being mean to people,” Brooke clarified. “I love doing things that make other people who are emotionally undeveloped call me a (b-).”
Here are 4 controversial things women in their 20s should start doing ASAP:
1. Saying no without a reason
You are allowed to say no, and you are allowed to do so without a reason. You do not need to justify that decision or provide any rationale to make the people around you feel more comfortable. There is no need to feel guilty about it either.
This is especially difficult for those with people-pleasing tendencies, yet it’s a necessary part of life and a skill worth learning. You shouldn’t run yourself into the ground or put yourself in unwanted positions by saying yes to everything and everyone just for their convenience.
2. Using proper punctuation in professional emails
Many professional women tend to soften their emails with exclamation points and cutesy smiley faces. Yet Brooke encouraged young women to stop this habit immediately and end their sentences with periods and proper punctuation instead.
Who cares if you come off as monotonous or rude? It’s a professional email, and men do this all the time. How many times have you seen Brian from accounting end his email with “Sounds good! :)”? Probably zero.
Once you write that first draft, go back and eliminate any unnecessary exclamation points and emojis.
The same goes for “just following up.” Eliminate the “just” to sound more confident in professional communication.
3. Saying ‘excuse me’ instead of sorry
“I love not apologizing for taking up space,” Brooke said.
If you’re navigating your way around a store, and someone is in your way, you do not need to apologize for going about your business. You didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s no need to apologize for taking up space.
Just say “Excuse me” and they’ll move. Sometimes they’ll even say sorry to you for being in your way.
Sociologist Maja Jovanovic, known as Professor Maja in her TEDx Talk on women and apologizing, explained, “Excessive apologizing is a bad — but ingrained — habit that women need to ditch immediately.” She went on to say, “Oftentimes we think, ‘Oh I’m being polite, they’re going to perceive me as being a kind human being. But in fact, we are perceived in the complete opposite way. In actuality, we are seen as not confident, insecure, doubtful, and incompetent.”
4. Showing your true emotions
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That means the good and the bad. Don’t stifle your emotions for other people.
If you are happy, let yourself revel in that feeling. Don’t dim your light just because people around you are miserable. If you’re feeling a negative emotion, such as sadness or anger, don’t suppress it because you don’t want to bother anyone.
By doing these four things, you set yourself up for success.
They may seem small, but they will pay off in the long run.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.
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