I am 29 years old, my husband is a few years older, and we have one child. Our parents are elderly and in poor health, so we alternate between staying at my husband’s house and my own for a few weeks at a time to care for them.
My parents look after our baby, allowing my husband and I to work. His salary alone cannot support the baby. Both my parents are retired and receive pensions, making them financially independent, while my in-laws are farmers.
Before I gave birth, I used to give my mother-in-law VND2-3 million (US$80-120) monthly from my then-salary of VND8 million. My husband does not share his salary with me, but he covers expenses for dining out, events, gifts for me, and retains whatever is left in his account.
My husband and I came together out of love, and we continue to deeply love each other. I suffered from postpartum depression and sought therapy. Although I shared this with my mother-in-law, she remained indifferent and did not respond.
Nearly a month ago, I returned home from work and was caught in the rain. As the rain started just as I neared the house, I didn’t wear a raincoat and ended up soaked and cold. Upon arriving home, my mother-in-law asked me to wash the baby’s dishes. I responded that I would handle it after I showered since I was cold, and quickly went to get some clothes. However, my mother-in-law interpreted my response as waiting for my husband to wash them instead. She remarked that my husband worked hard all day while I refused to even wash dishes. I clarified that was not my intention and requested her to leave the dishes so I could wash them after my shower, noting that I usually handle the dishes daily.
I did not anticipate that my response would upset my mother-in-law so greatly. After showering and going to the bedroom for a towel, I overheard her angrily complaining to my mother about what I had said. I was shocked and burst into tears, feeling deeply hurt and sorry for my parents, especially my mother, who was recently post-eye surgery and limited in her activities. I retreated to the closet and cried for a long time.
When my husband returned home, I apologized to my mother-in-law, reassuring her that I had no intention of waiting for my husband to do the dishes. I expressed regret if I had misspoken, assuring her that I meant no offense. However, she did not accept my apology, and my husband suggested we consider divorce. I packed my belongings and planned to return to my parents’ house, but we reconciled and returned to my mother-in-law’s house the following day.
This was not the first time my mother-in-law had reported me to my mother, but previously I had only heard about it through my mom. To this day, I remain hurt and withdrawn, having lost the joy in my life. I am not angry with my mother-in-law, I just don’t know how to face her. Since the incident, my husband has become distant, and we have stopped speaking to each other.
What should I do now?
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