Emotionally independent people don’t allow those around them or the circumstances they face to dictate their emotions. They trust their ability to persevere and regulate their emotions, regardless of their environment. They don’t let others make them feel triggered, angry, or shameful.
“You become nonreactive to the environment and the people around you,” Jack Buncea “coach for high-performers,” said of emotionally independent people. “That’s not to say that you don’t feel emotion, but that you are far less influenced by the emotions and the energies of the people around you.”
Here are 9 things emotionally independent people with unbreakable self-trust do differently:
1. They choose acceptance, not denial
Instead of blaming their choices on outside circumstances, emotionally independent people take responsibility for their actions and emotions. They understand that no one can truly make them do or feel anything without their permission.
It’s not easy to accept that you may be the common denominator among the problems in your life, but you may need to face facts. Only then can you take any steps toward becoming more emotionally independent.
2. They take the time to reflect on their emotions
Whether it be school, work, or parenting, many of us have busy schedules that fill up our time and make it difficult to find even a moment to breathe. When you do find a second to yourself, it can be tempting to binge-watch TV, doomscroll social media, or simply go to bed rot; however, emotionally independent people better utilize this time.
They take the free moment to reflect on their emotions and give their feelings the attention they need and deserve. Whether through journaling or meditation, they feel, identify, and acknowledge their emotions so that they can then move past them with better understanding.
3. They don’t hold on too tightly to the way things are ‘supposed to be’
When you create an idealistic version of how everything is supposed to be in your head, you may be let down when your expectations inevitably don’t match the reality. Emotionally independent people understand this and avoid setting such expectations.
“When we place expectations on others, we’re inevitably setting ourselves and them up for failure,” mental health coach Mac Brazina explained on TikTok. “That’s cause you’re asking them to answer your needs before you’ve answered them for yourself.”
“The next time you catch yourself placing undo expectations on other people,” she continued, “I want you to ask yourself this: What is the need, fear, or insecurity that I am outsourcing to this person? And how can I answer it for myself?”
4. They know themselves
Having a clear identity is crucial to emotional independence because you need to be able to handle things without letting the opinions of others get in the way. Having multiple perspectives may be helpful in times of crisis, but you can’t let them cloud your judgment.
Research shows that having a clear view of yourself leads to self-actualization and self-esteem, both crucial to creating self-trust and becoming emotionally independent.
5. Gratitude is an integral part of their life
It’s easy to get so caught up in where you’re going that you forget what you have. Emotionally independent people count their blessings so that they can hold their own against challenges.
Studies have even shown that grateful people experience more satisfaction with their lives. They appreciate what they have while on the way to seeking out better.
6. They perform self-care regularly
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Emotionally independent people don’t wait until their body gives out or their brain stops functioning to give themselves the care they need. They practice hobbies and habits that benefit their physical and mental health so that they can be the best version of themselves.
7. They don’t dwell on the past and focus on the present
The past can weigh you down if you don’t learn to let it go. It’s important to hold on to the good and learn from the bad, but don’t let any of it stop you from living your life.
For example, if you’re beating yourself up about how you should’ve started working out six months ago and the progress you could have made by now, you’re preventing growth. Instead of dwelling on the past and what you could have done better, focus on the present and what you can do now to benefit your future — that’s what emotionally independent people do.
8. They don’t seek validation from others
It’s only natural to seek outside validation from those around you, be it friends, teachers, colleagues, or even strangers on social media. However, emotionally independent people find this validation within themselves.
“Looking for validation outside yourself, even if you do get it, is not going to change the way you feel,” advanced soul realignment practitioner Kristine Carlson told YourTango. “It may be nice to hear, but what’s most important is for you to believe it, yourself.”
9. They’re used to solving problems on their own
A key aspect of emotional independence is “independence.”
Emotionally independent people can get through things by themselves. This doesn’t mean they isolate themselves from the world or never ask for help, but that they trust in themselves and their abilities to solve problems and approach challenges.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.
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