Well, it’s almost Election Day here in the good ol’ United States of America, and unfortunately, that means one thing: drama. But as early voting begins and the big day finally approaches, the drama might just extend beyond the mud-slinging of the candidates’ respective campaigns.
The bottom line is this: Our states have some seriously weird election laws about what you can and cannot do on Election Day, and despite how silly and petty — if not downright hilarious — they may be, you might find yourself on the wrong side of the long arm of the law if you break them.
Here are some weird things you can get arrested for doing on Election Day.
In case you’ve forgotten what you learned in high school civics class (and given the way things are going in this country, it seems like a safe assumption that most of us have — if we even HAD a high school civics class in the first place), there’s a little thing called electioneering.
That’s a fancy word for trying to influence people’s votes at an election site. In fact, a guy was just arrested for breaking these laws in Texas this week!
Well, actually, he was arrested for punching a poll worker who told him he couldn’t wear a Trump hat in a polling place, but whatever. In any case, hats are just the beginning when it comes to laws about what you can and cannot wear near a polling place — as well as a whole bunch of other weird electioneering laws.
Several states have bizarre, very old laws about your attire while voting.
Most of us have heard that hats, t-shirts, signs — basically anything bearing any kind of candidate name or campaign-related slogan — are no-go’s.
Most states ban such things within 100 feet or so of a polling place, hence why that fine gentleman in Texas was asked to remove his hat.
But some places’ definition of electioneering attire is downright weird. For instance, in the state of Texas, you’re free to carry a sword or spear most of the time, but you’ll need to leave it at home when you vote.
And in one Indiana townwomen are not allowed to wear halter tops or bathing suits to political events. Why they’d want to in the first place is anyone’s guess, but don’t try it.
It’s presumably fine to wear a Speedo to cast your vote if you’re a man, though.
Handing out food or drink to voters in line — aka ‘line warming’ — is illegal in several states.
One of the most absurd traditions about American voting is that all too often in recent years, voters have to stand in interminable lines to cast their vote, especially in areas with large concentrations of non-white voters (can’t imagine why! — he said sarcastically).
To encourage people to stick around and exercise their franchise, some kind folks have thought to bring water and snacks to those waiting. But they’d be wise to think again because so-called “line warming” is considered buying votes in many places.
Georgia infamously made this illegal a few years ago, a decision which caused an uproar — and a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” plotline. But the Peach State is not alone.
In New York, it has been illegal to provide more than $1 worth of “meat, drink, tobacco, refreshment or provision” to voters since 1906. Arkansas and Florida passed similar laws in the past couple years, too. And in 1997, Kentucky invalidated an election entirely after a local candidate provided food for poll workers.
Drinking alcohol near a polling site is illegal in Minnesota.
Thinking of cracking a beer at your polling place in the Land of 10,000 Lakes? Think again, boozehound. The state considers “intoxicating liquor” to be electioneeringpresumably because they hate fun.
You’ll notice that not one reporter has thought to call Minnesota Governor and vice presidential candidate Tim Walz to account for this law during this election cycle because our news media can’t be bothered to do their jobs!
The American people deserve better — and to get blotto in the voting booth if they choose!
Several states have other very bizarre voting restrictions that are thankfully not enforced.
Honestly, you’ll get no argument from me about having laws banning “idiots” from voting, as Kentucky, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Ohio do. Unfortunately, however, the meaning of “idiot” today is very different from its meaning in the 19th and early 20th centuries when these laws were passed.
Back then, it meant people with disabilities, and many of these states’ laws also bar “insane” persons from voting — meaning those with a mental illness. So, these laws are… pretty terrible, actually! And thankfully, no longer enforced.
Indiana and Alabama have laws that are even weirder — they limit the time a voter can spend in a voting booth to just three and four minutes, respectively. That’s not even enough time to vote for all those judges we have to elect every two years, let alone an entire ballot!
Thankfully, these, too, are not enforced… though one wonders why they’re on the books in the first place.
And for those of you wishing to hold office yourselves, you better believe in God if you want to run in Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Mississippi, Maryland, or Arkansas. All six have laws stating you must acknowledge the existence of a higher power to run for office, despite that pesky little thing called the Constitution forbidding such things. Oops!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.
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