A woman questioned if she was being too harsh on her pregnant co-worker after they got into a bit of a tiff regarding the items she had on her baby registry.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, she claimed that after pitching in to help her pregnant co-worker pay for her baby shower, she doesn’t think she needs to bend over backward when it comes to the gifts she has listed on her baby registry.
Her pregnant co-worker got offended after she refused to buy gifts from her registry despite helping pay for the baby shower.
“I work in a large hospital on the overnight shift. I have a co-worker on my unit who is heavily pregnant and about to go on maternity leave. Some of my other co-workers thought it would be nice to throw her a baby shower before she goes on leave,” she began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that everyone agreed to chip in between $20 to $30, with others choosing to go above and beyond by buying more decorations, a card, pizza, cake, drinks, making homemade food, and bringing plates, cups, and utensils for the shower.
The women who pitched the idea of the baby shower put in more time and effort than others who chose to chip in just a few dollars. They spent several hours putting all of the decorations up in the break room and laying out the foot.
Although the co-worker wasn’t as friendly with the pregnant woman as some of her colleagues, she still donated money for the shower.
She thought it was all such a nice gesture, but since she wasn’t close to her pregnant co-worker, she didn’t feel the need to do anything other than chip in money.
The baby shower came and went, and a few days later, her pregnant co-worker asked if she’d seen the baby registry she made on Amazon. When she told her that she hadn’t, her pregnant co-worker proceeded to pull her phone out to show her the list of gifts.
“She says, ‘I just want to know who is buying me what, so I can plan the other things I need to get for the baby.’ She was scrolling past things like a $50 diaper bag and a $300 stroller. At first, I thought it was a joke. But she kept pointing things out items then asking me if I was going to buy one of them,” she continued.
The co-worker admitted that being shown the baby registry took her ‘off guard.’
Without being rude, she informed the pregnant woman that while the baby registry was nice to have for her family, she already pitched in money for the baby shower, so she didn’t plan on buying anything else.
Unfortunately, this seemed to offend the soon-to-be-mom who claimed that if she wanted to change her mind, she would be happy to go over the list with her again.
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Registry lists shouldn’t be forced upon people, especially co-workers and acquaintances.
The fact that she even pitched in money for her baby shower when she didn’t need to in the first place should have been enough.
It’s understandable that an expecting parent would want some of the necessities to be bought by other people, but as her co-worker mentioned, it should be something that family and close friends spend their money on. For co-workers who are close friends, contributing to the party and getting a gift off the registry makes sense, but for this co-worker, her contribution to the party was more than generous.
She has no obligation to break the bank and buy gifts for someone who is a work acquaintance.
While she figured that she was being nice when approached by the woman about a registry gift, some of her other co-workers admonished her for being mean and insisted that she could’ve been “kinder” on her delivery.
“I heard the rest of them all say things like, ‘Oh, that’s nice, I’ll look at the registry after work,’ or something slightly more palatable,” she remarked. “Personally, I don’t feel obligated to buy her anything since I already spent $30 of my own money on her shower out of the goodness of my heart.”
Turns out, etiquette dictates that co-workers spend between $25 and $50 for an office shower and this woman’s $30 was more than appropriate.
Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean that people need to skirt around certain topics. Being blunt and straightforward is the best approach, especially when it comes to avoiding any miscommunication or simply saying something that you don’t mean.
At the end of the day, she did more than what was expected of her regarding her co-worker’s pregnancy, and she’s well within her right to tell her that her contribution to the party was her gift.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
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