Mum’s the word.
A father in Nashville, Tennessee had the internet in hysterics after humorously listing things his wife has told him that he could never get away with uttering to her.
“Things your mother has said to me that I could never say to her,” the unnamed dad announced at the beginning of the clip, which was filmed by his daughter Brianna Ferraro, Storyful reported.
Ferraro said that both she and her parents were “hysterically laughing” over her father’s list of these so-called marital double standards.
Number one on the list, which daddy read aloud from a piece of paper in front of both his daughter and betrothed, was related to attire.
“‘Change your pants before we leave, your a– is sagging,’” recited the Southerner, causing his wife and daughter to collapse into laughter.
Number two? “‘Fix your hair, you look like an axe murderer,’” said the father, before proclaiming “that’s terrible!”
He then proceeded to list his “favorite” rhetorical taboo, repeating, “‘fix your shirt so your belly isn’t sticking out.’”
The Tennessean said he took particular umbrage with this last statement as he claimed his stomach doesn’t protrude in the manner his other half described.
“All these years I’m doing sit-ups, push-ups, I don’t have a belly!” declared the indignant dad, to which his bemused wife retorted, “but you don’t want it sticking out.”
“It doesn’t stick out!” the incredulous father shot back.
This isn’t the first brutally honest spousal declaration to go viral of late.
In October, a man named Fred claimed in a letter to his wife that he couldn’t be a father or husband for several hours because the Knicks were playing.
“Tonight, October 22, 2024 marks opening night for the New York Knicks 24-25 season,” he declared “I will be watching the game tonight. Y’all are on your own for a couple of hours.”
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