My daughter suffers as her in-laws constantly borrow money from her
My son-in-law is kind and has a stable job, but his parents continuously borrow money from my daughter and him, making their lives increasingly difficult and strained.
My daughter has been married for two years. As someone who values family bonds, I always hoped my daughter would find peace and happiness in her own home, especially since my son-in-law is such a good-hearted man who loves his wife and children and works hard. But recently, our phone conversations have left me feeling uneasy.
My daughter told me she is exhausted because her in-laws borrow money from them every month—sometimes just a few million dong (VND1 million equals $39), and other times tens of millions of dong. She said they claim their business is losing money and that they need urgent funds to keep things afloat. She confided that she’s afraid if they refuse to lend the money, she and her husband will be seen as ungrateful. Her voice broke on the phone, and my heart tightened with pain.
I know my son-in-law is under a lot of pressure, caught between his wife and his own family. But there are limits to everything. Time and again, the loans go unpaid, and the savings that my daughter and son-in-law have worked so hard to accumulate are steadily disappearing. They earn VND20 million a month, have a four-year-old child in kindergarten, and still have to lend money to his parents. When you calculate it all, they can’t save a single penny.
There was a time when my daughter was sick and needed to be hospitalized, and she had to borrow money from me. She even had to sell the motorcycle I bought her after their wedding just to raise money to help her in-laws pay off their debts. That day, she called me in tears, saying: “Mom, I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I’m so tired.”
I’m not sure how my daughter’s in-laws manage their business, but they’re forcing their children to bear the weight of their debts. I was planning to call them and try to resolve the issue, but my husband advised against it, fearing it might negatively affect our daughter.
Should I just let them continue like this, with my daughter silently suffering due to her sense of “filial duty,” or should I step in and do something to help?
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