A Reddit user recently sparked a debate over whether it’s unreasonable for an employer to ask for documentation after an employee repeatedly takes bereavement leave for pregnancy losses.
The situation involved a worker who had taken 13 weeks of bereavement leave within a year for pregnancy loss and the employer’s frustration after she asked for a 14th week. In response, the employer is considering updating the company’s bereavement policy to require medical documentation, but the decision raises questions about empathy, fairness, and policy enforcement.
A boss is at a loss after his employee asked for her thirteenth week of bereavement leave in a year.
In a Reddit posta frustrated employer recounted a difficult situation involving an employee who had suffered multiple pregnancy losses in a short period of time. The employee had lost 13 pregnancies within a year, each at a similar early stage, with the most recent occurring only a few days after returning to work from a previous loss.
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The employee had taken a significant amount of bereavement leave — 13 weeks in total — alongside personal and vacation time. This led the employer to question whether further time off should be granted without additional documentation.
While the nature of the losses is heartbreaking, the employer’s frustration stems from the frequency and pattern of the absences. The decision to deny the most recent request for bereavement leave and the contemplation of a documentation requirement has sparked a broader discussion on the balance between personal empathy and business needs.
The boss was concerned the employee was taking advantage of the current bereavement policy.
Facing repeated absences and concerned about the potential for abuse, the employer expressed frustration and began considering updating the company’s bereavement policy to include documentation requirements. The employer’s decision was largely driven by the pattern of frequent and similar absences, which could affect the business’s operations.
The post even mentioned that the employee’s response to questioning about her pregnancy losses was defensive, saying it was “none of (the employer’s) business.”
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The employer’s intention was to create clearer boundaries by requiring medical or funeral documentation for future bereavement requests. However, this raised the question of whether such a policy could be seen as insensitive or dismissive, especially given the deeply personal nature of pregnancy loss.
According to SHRMbereavement leave following a miscarriage is not standard in most companies, although experts say the trend is starting to change. “We’re definitely seeing organizations trend more toward providing bereavement leave, and now we’re seeing them actually offer employees time off when there is a miscarriage, or if there’s a failed IVF,” Maria Trapenasso, a New York City-based benefits consultant, told the outlet.
Employers need to find a balance between policy and compassion when it comes to time off for grief.
While it’s understandable for an employer to want to manage employee absences, the situation highlights the delicate balance between enforcing company policies and showing compassion for employees going through difficult personal experiences.
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Some might argue that a bereavement policy should accommodate repeated losses, given the emotional and physical toll they take. In contrast, others believe that the frequency of these absences could justify a more structured approach, such as requiring documentation.
Ultimately, the issue underscores the complexities of workplace bereavement policies, particularly when personal circumstances are involved. Employers must carefully consider the potential impact on employee morale and legal considerations when deciding to enforce more rigid documentation requirements, especially for personal losses that may not have clear, universally understood parameters.
In this boss’s case, the decision to update the bereavement policy highlights the tension between business operations and supporting employees through personal tragedies. While the employer may feel justified in requiring documentation to manage frequent absences, it’s crucial to strike a balance that ensures employees feel supported and understood.
Compassion and empathy are essential when dealing with sensitive issues like pregnancy loss, but employers must also weigh the needs of the business when making such difficult decisions.
Erika Ryan is a writer based in Florida who covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
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