In a TikTok post by coffee shop company Cat & Clouda thoughtful discussion between two employees revealed why one of them refuses to ask customers the common pleasantry, “How are you doing?”
While this simple question is often asked by service workers around the world, this employee explained why he believes it might not be the best way to engage with customers, especially in a coffee shop setting. Here’s a breakdown of the reasoning behind this unconventional perspective.
The coffee shop employee said asking customers, “How are you?” put a burden on them the minute they walked through the door.
For many people, a quick “How are you?” from a barista may feel like a natural part of their morning routine. However, as the employee explained, asking customers how they’re doing puts the onus on them to respond, often in a setting where they might not have the energy or mental bandwidth to do so.
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Particularly in the early morning hours, when customers are still waking up or rushing to start their day, responding to such a question can feel burdensome, making it more of an obligation than a genuine exchange. The employee added, “I would rather have someone say, ‘Hey Leah, good to see you!’ and then we can engage in a conversation,” emphasizing that it’s easier to engage when the conversation feels lighter and more organic.
The employee also stressed that good service is about giving, not taking.
One of the core ideas the employee presented was that good service should always be about giving, not taking. Asking a customer how they’re doing could be seen as “taking” something from them, as it requires a response — often at a time when customers are not in the mood for a social exchange.
Instead, the employee advocated for a more welcoming, non-demanding greeting that allows customers to feel seen without the pressure of formulating a response. As he put it, “If you go anywhere that is known for their service and hospitality, you’ll get a greeting. ‘Welcome, it’s good to see you. Happy to have you here.’ You will never get asked, ‘How’s it going guys?'”
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It’s also important to remember that for most people, “How are you?” is just a ritualized greeting that can be responded to without much thought, but for anyone struggling, it’s not so cut and dry. As one cancer patient noted“Before cancer, I didn’t think twice about answering ‘How are you.’ I replied, ‘Fine” most of the time, often adding a smile. But now, as a cancer patient, hearing ‘How are you?’ generates panic inside me.”
An important part of being in customer service is knowing how to read the room and the people who are in it.
Not every customer is in the same mood or at the same energy level when they walk into the coffee shop. According to the employee, part of providing excellent service involves “reading the room” and adjusting the approach based on the customer’s demeanor.
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If someone walks in looking low-energy or distracted, asking, “How’s your day going?” might feel intrusive or out of place. Instead, the employee suggested focusing on more neutral greetings that acknowledge the customer’s presence without demanding engagement. This allows for a more comfortable and personalized experience that doesn’t add stress to the customer’s day.
The philosophy of this coffee shop employee suggests a shift in how we think about customer service interactions. By refraining from asking customers how they’re doing, baristas can offer a more thoughtful, personalized greeting that prioritizes the customer’s comfort and emotional state.
Instead of extracting energy from customers with obligatory questions, the focus is on providing a welcoming, supportive atmosphere that doesn’t put any additional pressure on them — especially during the often stressful morning rush.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor’s degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
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