My mother is emotionally unstable, often lashing out with cruel words. She interprets every disagreement as a personal insult or betrayal. My father, on the other hand, lacks his own opinions and merely complies with her wishes. He often faces her verbal abuse for not meeting her expectations.
In our household, everyone is forced to obey my mother, and whenever I oppose her, she instructs my father to scold or even beat me. For years, my younger brother and I followed a strict routine of going to school and returning home—we were never allowed to go anywhere. My mother even denied me the opportunity to attend university or study abroad.
At 23, I got married. My husband’s older brother has been paralyzed since birth—31 years now. Before the wedding, my mother-in-law assured us that we could live separately after marriage. Naively trusting her and out of love for my husband, I agreed. However, after the wedding, she reneged on her promise, threatening to harm herself if we moved out. My husband urged me to endure the situation and live with them temporarily.
It has now been five years of enduring the unbearable stench and horrifying screams of my brother-in-law. My mother-in-law remains indifferent. She continues to be manipulative and deceitful, often complaining to my husband whenever she is displeased.
She frequently reminds me how fortunate I am to have married her son and to live under her roof, boasting about her supposed greatness. She criticizes my spending habits, even nitpicking when I buy clothes or organize a birthday party for my child, accusing me of being wasteful. At night, my in-laws only lock the front gate but leave the house door ajar, creating security risks. I take the initiative to lock everything securely, but when I voice my concerns, my mother-in-law dismisses them, suggesting there is no real threat. She even goes as far as unlocking the door after I secure it.
Whenever I buy something nice, even a small item like a trash can or a cup, she takes it for herself and replaces it with her old belongings. She does not assist in taking care of my child but falsely claims credit when speaking to others.
Recently, my mother-in-law invited my father to a party, but my mother refused to let him attend, and he felt unable to go. I suggested that my parents inform my mother-in-law if they couldn’t make it, but my mother became angry, insisting it was my responsibility to relay the message. When my mother-in-law later called my parents and they didn’t answer, she called me instead, demanding an explanation for my father’s absence. I told her he was busy, but she became upset.
Meanwhile, sitting next to me, my mother remarked that other people’s daughters go abroad, earn money, and provide for their families, while she had received nothing from me. Frustrated, I questioned why she had prevented me from going abroad when I wanted to, but my mother glared at me and accused me of being ungrateful.
After returning to my in-laws’ house, I faced even more hostility from my mother-in-law due to my father’s absence at her party. Hoping for support, I called my mother, only to be dismissed. She told me to stop complaining and reminded me that her own experiences with my paternal grandmother were “worse.” She suggested that if I were capable, I should rent my own place. She ended the conversation by saying she had no time to deal with me anymore.
I feel utterly helpless. What can I do to improve my situation?
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