My husband’s mother declared that I would only be allowed to visit my parents after the third day of the lunar new year, forbidding me from celebrating the occasion with them.
I’m 30 years old this year and have been married for two years. My husband is from the city, while I’m a country girl. Living with my in-laws, I’ve always tried to fulfill my duties as a daughter-in-law—cleaning the house, cooking, and yielding to my in-laws to maintain harmony in the household.
Last year, I stayed at my in-laws’ home for the Tet Lunar New Year because I thought as a new bride without children yet, I needed to do my part to make everyone happy. At the time, I silently promised myself that next year, I would ask to return to my own family for Tet.
As the upcoming Tet holiday—spanning from Jan. 25 to Feb. 2—is approaching, I discussed the matter with my husband, carefully explaining that my parents only have me as their daughter and that I wanted to visit them starting from the afternoon of the first day of the lunar new year.
However, my husband immediately objected, saying: “Once you’re married, you belong to your husband’s family. As a daughter-in-law, you must follow the traditions of your husband’s family. Going back after the third day is not too late.”
My in-laws also disagreed. My mother-in-law said that Tet is a time for family reunions and, as a daughter-in-law, I should spend Tet with my husband’s family first, visiting my parents after Tet. I felt as though my wishes were completely disregarded, and no one respected my feelings.
In recent days, I’ve brought this up multiple times, which has irritated my husband. He declared that if I insisted on going, then “each of us would go our separate ways,” and he absolutely would not visit my family with me. I never imagined that marrying far from home would leave me feeling so helpless.
What should I do?
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