Pauline’s birth name was Nguyen Thi Quynh. She was born on Nov. 29, 1997, at Hung Vuong Hospital in HCMC. Reportedly, her biological mother was Nguyen Thi Lien, a 33-year-old housewife, who abandoned her at birth.
At eight months the baby was admitted into the Go Vap Orphanage from where she was adopted by a French couple, who first took her to Paris before they all relocated to Sarras, a town in southeastern France.
The mystery of her origins preyed on Pauline’s mind ever since she was a child.
“Whenever someone asked me where I’m from, I would say: ‘Vietnam’ without actually knowing anything about the country except for the few photos and stories from my adoptive parents”, she says.
Pauline as a young girl in France. Photo courtesy of Pauline |
.In 2017, with the passing of her adoptive father, the wish to find her biological mother began to take root, but she hesitated because of the emotional toll such a journey might have on her.
It was only in 2022 that she finally decided to commit to this dream, and one year later her plan was in motion as she visited to Vietnam for the first time since her childhood departure and began her search using the information in her adoption documents.
She learned of a woman named Nguyen Thi Lien, a former Vung Tau resident, who had reportedly married an Australian man, relocated to his country and had two children with him.
Pauline also met with a man whom she believed was her uncle, but he refused to disclose any further information about Lien. She says: “That was the biggest letdown for me. But I thought there must be another way”.
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Pauline’s only clue, her adoption profile. Photo courtesy of Pauline |
Hitting a dead end made her realize this journey would not be easy.
Besides disappointment, there was also fear: Were the reunion to happen, what if it was awkward? What if she said the wrong thing, or worse, what if the mother she sought so restlessly wanted nothing to do with her?
But she says she has received a great deal of kindness and support. “You might think [these gestures] are trivial, but they mean a lot to me”.
Pauline spent six months in HCMC before flying back to France. But in June this year she decided to fly to HCMC with a one-way ticket.
She says: “I love this bustling city and its kind, warm people. I can ride my motorbike around to explore new places and appreciate the cultural differences between Vietnam and France”. She has created a life for herself in HCMC, made friends and found a regular job in mental healthcare.
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Pauline is now fully adjusted to life in HCMC with friends and a steady job. Photo courtesy of Pauline |
When she first arrived in Vietnam, when asked, “Are you really Vietnamese?”, her answer used to be: “I don’t know”.
Now she says “I am Vietnamese and French”.
She admits she still struggles with the language, eats local food in a way that is “a little strange” and doesn’t cover herself from the sun like most local women; but she knows she is Vietnamese all the same.
She believes that should she meet her birth mother one day, not much needs to be said. “To know she is healthy and happy is enough for me”, she says.
Pauline hopes her story can spread and inspire others who don’t know their birth families to begin similar journeys.
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