My spouse and I earn over $1,700 a month but still hesitate to have children amid Hanoi’s high living costs

Both of us are in our early 30s and have been running an online business for the past two years. Many people say our level of income is “not low,” but in a major city where expenses continue to rise, we constantly feel financially insecure.

Each month, we spend around VND10 million on rent. Living expenses including food, daily necessities and transportation amount to roughly VND15-18 million for the two of us. We also give VND4 million each month to support both sides of our parents. In addition, we have two pet cats, with food, litter and basic care costing about VND1.5-2 million per month.

Our income also fluctuates. In some months, we earn more and live more comfortably, while in others we are barely able to save anything, as funds have to be tied up in inventory.

When we got married four years ago, we set a goal of buying a home in Hanoi and having a child within six years. However, with current property prices, that goal feels increasingly out of reach. Still having to rent leaves us feeling unsettled, as without stable housing it is difficult to plan for the long term. As a result, the prospect of having a child has become an even greater source of pressure.

Recently, both sides of our family have been urging us to start a family. Every trip back to our hometown or family gathering inevitably comes with the question, “When will you have a baby?” We understand our parents’ and grandparents’ hopes, but honestly, neither of us feels ready to step into parenthood when so many aspects of our lives remain uncertain.

Another major concern is the lack of support if we do have a child. Both sets of grandparents are elderly and live far away, making it impossible for them to help regularly with childcare. After giving birth, we would most likely have to hire a live-in helper, which we estimate would cost around VND10 million per month.

Our work schedules are relatively flexible, but in reality they are irregular and unpredictable. Life in Hanoi is already stressful, and we worry about being overwhelmed if we have to juggle work and childcare at the same time. We fear we would struggle to devote enough time and energy to raising a child properly.

Friends and relatives often tell us, “Once you have a child, you’ll figure it out,” or “If you’re worried on VND45 million, how do other families survive?”

Are we overthinking this?