A Reddit user shared that his friend, who is about to be married, sent a note to all of her wedding guests requesting that they pay $75 for their meal at the reception to help offset the cost of the ceremony. He wondered if this was just normal nowadays or if he was right to find it off-putting.
Weddings have always been a shaky balance between wanting to celebrate with loved ones and also not wanting to go over budget. Prices for venues, catering, flowers, music, food, and drinks are only continuing to rise, meaning couples are truly having to think outside of the box to make their magical day a reality. For this bride in particular, she decided to turn to her wedding guests as a way to offset the costs of her ceremony by asking them to pitch in, but her request wasn’t exactly appreciated by everyone invited.
A bride sent a note to each wedding guest requesting they pay $75 for their meal to help offset reception costs.
In a post to the subreddit “r/wedding,” a man shared that his friend was getting married and had recently sent out invites. Unlike traditional RSVP cards, the bride-to-be asked her wedding guests “to help offset costs” and pay $75 for the meal they would have at the reception.
“I was flabbergasted. I get weddings are expensive, but since when did it become normal to invoice your guests? Feels like weddings these days are less about love and more like narcissistic flex contests with a price tag that keeps climbing,” he wrote in his post.
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock
He admitted that he’s not necessarily offended by his friend’s request, but he’s financially struggling. If he turns down the request, it wouldn’t be because he can’t pay; it’ll be because he doesn’t want to spend that much money on someone else’s wedding.
In the comments of the Reddit post, people were on his side, arguing that the bride’s request was a bit absurd. They pointed out that while weddings are expensive, the costs shouldn’t be passed on to the guests.
Most couples overspend on their weddings.
Shunevych Serhii | Shutterstock
According to a survey from Zola, an online wedding registry, 74% of newlywed couples said they went over budget to fund their big day, including 20% who said they overspent by at least $10,000. The average cost of a 2025 wedding was $36,000, up from $33,000 in 2024 and $29,000 in 2023.
Zola also asked couples who they thought should pay for the wedding. For wedding party attire, opinions were split. Fifty-one percent of couples thought the wedding party should pay for their own outfits, while 33% said the couple should cover the cost as a thank-you to their friends.
For pre-and-post-wedding events, nearly a third of respondents admitted they’re unsure about who should pick up the tab for things like welcome parties and goodbye brunches.
There was nothing to indicate, however, that guests should be subjected to paying for their own food at a reception. That doesn’t mean it’s not happening, however. In fact, according to the New York Times, asking guests to help pay for the celebration is becoming a more common occurrence as the cost of weddings continues to go up, and so does the cost of living.
Wedding guests are also taking on debt just to attend ceremonies.
The problem with pushing wedding costs onto guests is that many guests are struggling financially as well. Just like this man explained in his Reddit post, additional costs just aren’t in most people’s budgets nowadays.
Data from LendingTree found that of the 54% of people who attended at least one wedding in the past five years, 31% took on debt to do so. Based on the survey, 43% of respondents spent an average of $100 to $499 to attend a wedding, while 29% spent at least $500, and 12% spent at least $1,000.
All that is to say that times are tough. The job market is bad. The cost of living is high. No one can afford anything. That means it’s not exactly bad that couples are asking guests to help them afford weddings, but it’s also totally understandable that guests are declining invites because they can’t afford to go.
At the end of the day, if couples want their wedding guests to front the cost of any part of the ceremony, they have to be okay with attendance issues.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
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