For a lot of us, “getting it out” is the only way we feel like we can actually deal with anger. But science shows that “venting” doesn’t actually help when you’re angry. In fact, it can often make it physiologically and mentally worse.
Yep, yelling or punching a wall might feel good in the moment, but they don’t actually accomplish much. The real medicine, scientists say, is the exact opposite: calming and relaxation practices.
‘Venting’ doesn’t actually help at all when you’re angry.
“Can I just vent for a second?” is the go-to phrase for many of us when we’re furious, and the advice to “let it out” safely, that is, has been the conventional wisdom for ages. If you’re REALLY enraged, punching a punching bag or beating an old TV with a baseball bat, as a friend of mine once did, can feel even more cathartic.
But a major analysis at The Ohio State University shows this is actually really bad advice. Researchers analyzed 154 studies that focused on more than 10,000 participants, and the conclusion was crystal clear: To truly deal with anger, you have to calm down, not yell or punch or, well, bash a TV with a baseball bat.
This is, of course, counterintuitive, especially since actually saying “calm down” to someone who’s angry is the surest way to make them fly off the handle! But the research shows that “venting” not only doesn’t help, but it also makes anger even worse.
‘Venting’ behaviors actually amplify the emotional and physiological responses to anger.
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Anger is a two-part process composed of what psychologists and other scientists call “physical arousal” and “cognitive appraisal.” Anger is primarily a physical response that our minds react to, not the other way around.
That physical arousal involves hormonal fluctuations, brain chemicals, the triggering of functions in the amygdala, which is the brain stem where our “fight or flight” sympathetic nervous system operates, and other physiological processes that result in everything from our blood pressure rising to our muscles tensing to our eyes dilating in preparation to fight. We then have emotional responses to these physiological changes.
The research shows that “venting” only exacerbates these physiological processes. Whether it was punching a pillow, going for a run, or yelling, the physiological arousal is amped up even more, which in turn makes us more emotionally upset.
And as a person who loves to “vent” by ranting and raving to whatever empathetic listener I can find, I have to admit that as I think about it in light of this information, it has never once actually made me feel better or resulted in anything besides me beating a dead horse for hours on end until the restaurant closes or one of my friends begs to change the subject, whichever comes first!
What actually works is relaxation and calming practices.
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Bad news for all the “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN” types among us (by which I mean me): Calming down is the only thing that actually works on anger, according to the data. Scientists found that “venting” activities actually INCREASED anger across the board.
But everything from yoga and meditation to simple breathing exercises was not only effective, but it was effective across the board, regardless of the subjects’ gender, age, or any other factors.
This is because such practices like these tell the brain that the “threat” has passed. They also trigger the vagus nerve, which helps move the brain out of the sympathetic “fight or flight” system and into the parasympathetic “rest and digest” nervous system, which governs rational thought and executive function.
There is one caveat, though: if you’re not the yoga-and-breathing-exercises type. While punching a punching bag or going for a run didn’t help, researchers found that team sports and exercise classes did, though they weren’t as effective as yoga and meditation.
Scientists believe this is because there is an aspect of play involved in these activities that helps override the physiological anger processes. Either way, while TELLING someone to “calm down” might only make them angrier, actually calming down is the real remedy, even if it’s nowhere near as fun!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
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