One mom turned to social media to declare that she “dedicated her life” to her kids, only to have them abandon her. Another woman thinks the fact that she “dedicated her life” to them might be the problem.
When you’re a parent, it can be incredibly painful to look back on your life and realize your kids didn’t turn out the way that you had hoped. It can be especially hurtful when you feel like you’ve given up your entire life to raise your children and haven’t received the same dedication in return.
Well, that’s exactly what happened to one mom who claimed her adult children have essentially abandoned her in a time of need.
A mom who ‘dedicated her life’ to her kids said she was in ‘dire straits’ and received no help from her adult children.
TikToker Taniqua Hendrix is a mother of six who was previously diagnosed with breast cancer. In a video, she lamented what has happened to her children and the lack of support they give her now. “I never thought that I would have so many regrets, especially when it came to me having my children,” she said.
Hendrix explained that she and her ex-husband, the children’s father, are facing times of uncertainty and need, but their children have done nothing to help them. “I don’t know what my ex-husband and I did to those children, but, uh, both of us are in dire straits,” she said. “I’m not as much as he is, but mentally and emotionally, I am.”
“And, uh, it’s very sad because him and I, we got together when we was 19, and we dedicated our lives to these people. And these people have grown up to be people that …” she said as she trailed off in tears, unable to finish her sentence.
Many commenters and fellow parents on TikTok were sympathetic to Hendrix’s situation. “It’s time for you to take care of yourself and let them go,” one user advised. A second person said, “You have to let them go emotionally so you can stay healthy.”
However, others thought that Hendix’s problem was dedicating her life to her children in the first place.
In a stitched video, TikToker Milly Bop addressed Hedrix’s concerns. She stated that adult children “basically kind of abandon their parents.” Bop said the reason for this is the way their parents present themselves. “You dedicated your life to these kids, and I think that’s the problem,” she explained.
Bop said that a parent makes themselves available endlessly to their children, creating a toxic dynamic. “Now you’ve taught them that your only use for them is that you give them things and do things for them,” she continued.
Bop believed that the key is to get to know your children as people. “Did you ever give the child the chance to get to know you as a human being outside of you being their parent?” she asked. “I think they grow up and don’t look at their parents as people anymore,” she said sadly.
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TikTok users who commented on Bop’s video largely agreed with her. “Get to know your children. Build a relationship!” one person urged. Another person shared, “My mom was a provider. No emotional connection, honestly, so our relationship is how it is because of that.”
Adult children are indeed distancing themselves from their parents, and a number of factors play into this trend.
It seems like adult children are leaving their parents behind now more than ever before. Previous generations saw adult children as devoted to their parents as their parents were to them, no matter what. Now, things have changed. According to Newsweek, “Rifts in families are becoming more common, particularly with adult children stopping contact with one or both parents … In 2020, research by sociologist Karl Pillemar shows that one in four Americans are estranged from their families — roughly 67 million people.”
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As children grow older, instead of showing parents the same love they received, they are leaving them behind. But for some, it’s simply about protecting themselves and their well-being. One commenter on Hendrix’s video wrote, “I don’t know if this is ur case, but from a kid’s perspective, I’m starting to see all the messed up stuff my parents did/didn’t do. Hopefully y’all can forgive each other one day.”
While showing children that helping their parents when they’re older is important, it is also essential to acknowledge that, in many situations, children are unable or unwilling to do so. In those instances, parents must be prepared to care for themselves.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
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