He and Luyen Nguyen, both 35, first met 19 years ago when they were in 10th grade at a high school in Chicago in the U.S.
One of his most vivid school memories is of Luyen stopping him on a staircase to ask if he was the younger brother of a strict literature teacher. He nodded, and she smiled before walking away. “Her mischievous smile left me standing there for a few seconds,” he recalls.
Luyen Nguyen and Alec Gast in Hoi An for their wedding photoshoot, March 2026. Photo courtesy of the subjects. |
After graduation they lost contact as she moved to Switzerland to study medicine and he stayed in the U.S. and became an engineer.
In 2021, during the Covid-19 pandemic, he unexpectedly saw the “girl from the staircase” at a Chicago airport after 14 years.
He called out to her, and they caught up briefly and exchanged phone numbers. Soon after, they began dating. She was a medical resident then.
However, when they decided to take their relationship further, they faced strong opposition from her family. Her father, Binh, appreciated Gast but was concerned about cultural differences, lifestyle gaps and deeply rooted values.
Although Binh and his family had lived in the U.S. for 25 years by then, they had maintained their Vietnamese traditions. Luyen’s four siblings all married people of Vietnamese origin, and the family remained close, preserving the lifestyle it had had in her hometown.
Every weekend members gathered to cook dishes like pho and banh xeo. As a result the idea of the youngest daughter marrying a foreigner was seen as possible disruption of family harmony.
In 2023 the family held several discussions during which the others urged Luyen to end the relationship. In early 2024 her father even asked her to choose between her family and him.
“Ducks and chickens can live in the same yard, but when trouble comes, ducks follow ducks and chickens follow chickens,” he told her further. “Differences in roots are profound, and things fall apart sooner or later.”
The pressure nearly made her give up. “There were times I wanted to walk away, but Alec told me he could wait for me his whole life,” she says.
His patience gave her strength. She eventually told her father that if her family could not accept Gast, she would choose to remain single.
Meanwhile, Gast sought to prove his commitment through actions. Despite working from 4 a.m. to 7 p.m., he made time to pick Luyen up after her night shifts. He taught himself how to cook Vietnamese dishes and regularly brought meals to her at the hospital.
He visited her family every weekend, learning Vietnamese practices, from using chopsticks properly to carrying serving trays in the traditional manner.
Binh says he then gradually began observing Gast more closely instead of simply opposing the relationship. “I saw his sincerity. He tried to integrate into our culture naturally, without forcing it.”
Gast’s family visited Luyen’s home during Tet 2025. He helped clean the house, cooked and prepared offerings at the ancestral altar.
He also tried traditional foods such as balut and shrimp paste, of which few non-Vietnamese are fans, it can be safely said. After this visit Binh and the rest of the family gave their approval for the marriage.
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Gast proposed to Luyen at a park near their home in Chicago in May 2025.Photo courtesy of the subjects. |
In May 2025, Gast formally asked for permission to hold a proposal ceremony. He arranged some flowers at the Chicago Botanic Garden and invited Luyen out for the weekend. As she stepped into the floral arrangement, he knelt down and presented the ring. Both families emerged from hiding to celebrate the moment.
Their relationship has reshaped both of them in the two years since. For her, he is “an encyclopedia,” with answers to all her questions about history, geography and science. For him, she is the one who softens a world once defined by blueprints and concrete.
In March the couple came to Vietnam to visit relatives and organize an engagement ceremony.
Their wedding is scheduled for May 23 in the U.S. Reflecting on their journey, Gast says Luyen’s strength brought them closer together. “I’m grateful for her as she never stopped believing in us.”
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