Dr. Monika Sharma, Senior Journalist
Recently, heart-wrenching cases of death of married women have come to light in incidents in different states, which have shaken not only these states but the entire country. The cases of Deepika Nagar of Noida, Twisha Sharma of Bhopal and Anu Meena of Jaipur revolve around serious allegations like torture and harassment.
There is a mystery of suicide or murder regarding Deepika and Twisha and the country is demanding justice for the daughters. Police and law are also busy investigating every aspect of the cases with their intricacies. Meanwhile, recently during the hearing of Twisha Sharma suspect in the Supreme Court, the Solicitor General has commented that it is morally better for the parents that “their daughter gets divorced rather than their daughter dies”.
Amidst the ongoing debate on a sensitive issue, the question here is that in such a short period of time of marriage, why did this horrifying picture of the relationship emerge? Were these lives lost under the pressure of adjustment (compromise), the word used for this relationship? If so, then how long will this journey from the doli to the crematorium in the bier after marriage be burdened with adjustments and why? After all, why is this word adjustment, which has been passed down as a legacy from generation to generation, heavy on bonds like marriage even in the twenty-first century?
In fact, Twisha and Deepika are the faces of our enlightened society and the millions of daughters growing up in them, who dream of a happy life after marriage. Both were educated, intelligent and promising girls who could stand on their own feet. Among these, Deepika’s marriage was done with great pomp in UP itself, while Twisha’s marriage took place after meeting her on a dating app. The family members of both have said in statements given in the media that the marriage was done with full customs and by giving dowry. It was fine for some time, but later their daughters started being harassed and harassed.
Many times the daughters also shared their problems with the family members, but then they were advised to make adjustments in the new marriage and new environment. The in-laws also said that their daughters’ attitude and lifestyle were different, which had led to fights in the family. As a result of this coordination and fear of social pressure, both the daughters died.
Whereas Anu Meena of Jaipur endured eleven years of her marriage only considering the future of her children. In the hope that maybe someday everything would be alright, but his years of compromise ultimately dragged him to death. According to National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, more than 6,000 women die every year in the country due to dowry. This means that every 90 minutes a woman is sacrificed for dowry.
In the year 2024, 5,737 cases were registered under dowry deaths. The highest number of cases of dowry deaths have been reported from Uttar Pradesh (2,038), Bihar (1,078) and Madhya Pradesh (450). At the same time, more than 1 lakh 20 thousand cases of cruelty by husband and in-laws are registered every year. This is the situation when in such cases there is a provision of a minimum punishment of seven years or even life imprisonment for the culprits.
In Indian society, forcing daughters to endure severe domestic violence, mental torture and dowry harassment in the name of adjustment in marriage is a social failure that often leads to untimely death or suicide of daughters. The tragic deaths of many educated daughters like Tisha Sharma and Deepika have sparked a nationwide debate on this serious issue.
However, in matrimonial matters (dowry harassment and domestic violence), the Supreme Court has clarified that advising the wife to adjust to her in-laws cannot in itself be considered cruelty or harassment. Strong evidence of harassment is necessary for legal action, but the message of the court is also that mutual harmony is necessary in marriage. Serious physical or mental cruelty to women under the guise of adjustment will not be accepted.
There is now a need to think deeply on this topic amidst endless discussions. We all will have to make collective efforts to deal with these issues arising in the country. Society will have to make fundamental changes in its thinking. At the same time, parents have to assure their daughters that their life is more valuable than any marriage or social status. In the definition of tolerance, tolerating torture and ill-treatment is not a culture, but promoting crime. By increasing legal awareness and taking strict measures, laws like Dowry Prohibition Act and Women Protection from Domestic Violence Act should be strictly followed. Instead of merely preparing daughters for marriage, it is important to make them mentally and financially self-reliant. (These are the personal views of the author)
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