You Can Actually Spot An Anxious Person By 13 Little Habits They Don’t Even Notice | Lisa Petsinis
An anxious person may have a few habits they don’t even notice.
Some of these behaviors may have started when they were younger as ways to feel calmer or more in control when they were worried. Because the habits may provide temporary relief, they can become automatic over time and appear more often during stressful moments. Anxiety can involve restlessness, fatigue, trouble concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, or sleep problems, but it may appear in smaller ways too. Psychologist Dr. Julie Smith highlights this idea in a TikTok video that resonated with thousands of viewers who recognized some of their own anxious habits. These habits alone don’t prove that someone has an anxiety disorder, but they can offer clues that a person is feeling more anxious than they let on.
An anxious person can often be spotted by 13 little habits they don’t even notice they’re doing:
1. They constantly play with their hair
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Twirling their hair can feel soothing, especially after a fresh wash. They might flick it, flip it, coil it, or brush it lightly against their cheek. This habit may become more noticeable when someone feels overwhelmed, or their mind is working overtime.
If someone repeatedly pulls out their hair and feels unable to stop, they may be experiencing trichotillomaniaalso called hair-pulling disorder. Putting their hair up or keeping their hands occupied may help with occasional hair twirling. Anyone who is pulling out hair or struggling to stop should consider talking to a qualified mental health professional.
2. They make frequent trips to the bathroom
Anxiety can make some people feel the need to use the bathroom more often. A 2021 research review found growing evidence that chronic psychological stress can contribute to urinary frequency and urgency, suggesting that stress may affect the bladder as well as the mind.
They might make several trips while they’re out, or go repeatedly before a nerve-wracking presentation, interview, or other stressful event. Uneasiness could also prompt them to make a washroom trip the very last thing they do before their head hits the pillow at night.
3. They reread messages several times before sending them
An anxious person may worry about how an email or text will land. This might prompt them to read it repeatedly until they’ve retyped it a few times, exhausted every possible way to send their message, and run it through a grammar check, just to be sure.
Perfectionism and a strong need for approval could be at the heart of this anxious habit.
4. They repeat the same phrase whenever they say goodbye
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Someone who fears that something bad might happen may feel compelled to repeat the same phrase whenever they hang up the phone or say goodbye to a loved one. Repeating phrases like “I love you” or “good luck” may soothe them by reassuring them that nothing has gone unsaid and that everything will be all right.
5. They check the same thing over and over
If someone worries that they left the stove on or forgot to lock the door, they may check it several times for reassurance. One study found that repeatedly checking a virtual stove actually lowered people’s confidence in their memories, even though their memories weren’t any less accurate.
When checking becomes excessive, time-consuming, or difficult to resist, it may be worth discussing with a mental health professional.
6. They replay conversations in their head
Reliving exchanges with a family member, friend, or colleague is another little way that anxiety rears its head. Although they can’t change what was said, letting the conversation go may be difficult when their mind keeps searching for mistakes or signs that they upset someone.
7. They arrive much earlier than necessary
If someone constantly worries about being late, they may give themselves far more travel time than they actually need. A 2020 study of 533 college students found that those who had a harder time dealing with uncertainty also reported higher levels of social anxiety and overthinking.
This can stem from an urge to control unpredictable things like traffic and weather. They may also worry about embarrassing themselves by noisily walking into a quiet room or letting someone else down.
8. They bite their nails
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Nail biting can be a body-focused repetitive behavior that provides temporary relief from stress, tension, boredom, or other uncomfortable feelings. It might seem harmless at first, but frequent nail biting can damage the nails and surrounding skin, especially when the behavior becomes difficult to control.
9. They bite or chew their lips
Biting or chewing the lips can be another body-focused repetitive behavior that some people use to cope with stress or uncomfortable emotions.
10. They hide under the covers
Some anxious people may wake up, press snooze, and feel unable to face the day. Someone who feels overwhelmed or anxious may stay under the covers to delay facing the day. However, difficulty getting out of bed can also have other causes, including poor sleep, illness, exhaustion, or depression.
11. They scroll through social media for long stretches
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Anxiety may lead some people to scroll through social media for long stretches of time. This might involve reading upsetting news for long periods or watching funny videos to distract themselves from uncomfortable thoughts.
12. They turn down social invites all the time
Declining opportunities to meet up or go out is something anxiety can make someone do. This is especially true if commuting, meeting new people, or having small talk stresses them out.
One study that checked in with 125 young adults several times a day found that those with higher social anxiety felt a stronger urge to avoid other people and a weaker sense of belonging. The more often someone declines invitations, the less frequently they may be invited. That can leave them feeling more isolated and even more anxious about future social events.
13. They always choose a seat near the exit
Anxiety might compel someone to sit at the end of the row in a movie theater, at the edge of a restaurant booth, or at the back of a conference room. After all, they might need to go to the bathroom or just leave.
The good news is that recognizing anxious habits can help someone better understand what triggers them and decide whether they need healthier coping tools or professional support.
Lisa Petsinis is a certified life coach who works with individuals to build lasting life skills such as confidence and resilience and to create more joy and meaning.
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