Foundation of husband-wife relationship
The relationship between husband and wife is based on love, trust, respect and emotional connection. It is normal to have arguments sometimes in this relationship. There is a belief that marital lives where there are less fights are happier. But the truth is that sometimes even without any major dispute, the emotional distance between husband and wife starts increasing. In such a situation, both live with each other, spend time and discharge household responsibilities, yet experience loneliness. Why does this situation arise and how can it be overcome?
due to emotional distance
Dr. Chandrima Mishra Mukherjee of Artemis Hospital, Gurugram has thrown light on this topic. Many married couples have neither major fights nor any obvious problems, yet they still feel that their relationship is not as close as it used to be. They eat together and fulfill family responsibilities, but are unable to share their feelings.
This distance does not come suddenly, but increases gradually. Initially the conversation gets limited only to household work, office, children or other responsibilities. Over time, spouses become less likely to share their fears, dreams, worries, and experiences of the day. Sometimes they feel that their partner is busy or will not understand their feelings. This thinking can gradually increase the distance in the relationship.
Does your partner listen to you?
Listening to someone and understanding his feelings are two different things. Many times the husband or wife listens to the other person, but does not try to understand how he or she is feeling from inside.
For example, if your partner comes home from work upset, he or she doesn't always need advice. Sometimes he just wants someone to listen to him carefully and understand his problem.
When this kind of emotional support starts decreasing in a relationship, the person may feel lonely while still being with his/her partner. Gradually he also reduces his sharing of things.
signs of emotional distance
Following are some signs of increasing distance in a relationship:
- Conversation limited: The conversation remains limited only to home, expenses and responsibilities.
- Not sharing your thoughts: The partner starts avoiding telling about his problems, fears or happiness.
- Feeling lonely even when together: Despite living in the same house, there is less emotional connection.
- Loss of interest in each other's things: Attention to day to day activities reduces.
- Lack of spending time together: It becomes difficult to find time for each other in busy schedules.
These signs do not mean that the relationship is ending, but if they persist, it is necessary to pay attention to mutual communication.
How to overcome loneliness?
Big changes are not required to reduce the emotional distance between husband and wife. Some small everyday habits can also help in increasing intimacy in the relationship.
1. Talk openly
Find some time during the day when you can step away from home and work responsibilities and talk to each other. Share your feelings and problems. During conversation, instead of blaming each other, express your views in a peaceful manner.
2. Listen carefully
When your partner shares something, listen to him completely instead of interrupting him or giving quick advice. Sometimes saying 'I understand how you feel' can also provide emotional support.
3. Take interest in everyday life
Asking how your partner's day was, what he or she is happy with or what he or she is worried about may seem like a small thing. But this helps in maintaining interest and connection with each other.
4. Spend time together
There is no need to hang out or give expensive gifts every time. Sitting together, drinking tea, taking a walk, eating food or talking about the day can also strengthen the relationship.
5. Understand emotional needs
Every person has a different way of expressing and feeling love. Try to understand your partner's needs and express yours.
6. Don't hesitate to seek help
If communication difficulties, emotional distance, or feelings of loneliness persist over a long period of time, it may be helpful to seek help from a couples counselor or mental health professional.
Emotional connection for a happy relationship
In a husband-wife relationship, it is not necessary to agree all the time or never quarrel. What is important is that both respect each other's feelings, feel comfortable in expressing their views and support each other in difficult times. Remember, Living under one roof and staying connected by heart are two different things. To maintain love and affection in a relationship, it is necessary to give time to each other, listen carefully and try to understand the feelings.