Plenty of people would rather skip the small talk and get right to the good stuff. But it turns out, people who actually enjoy a little chit-chat about the weather or traffic are living life right.
According to researcha quick joke with a stranger or a friendly chat with your neighbor can be enough to brighten your mood and help you feel connected to others. People who embrace small talk may be giving themselves more opportunities to support their overall well-being.
Science says that people who like small talk tend to be happier and healthier.
Making small talk is just one of those things that people love to complain about. Nobody has time, or they’re just not interested in being trapped in a drawn-out conversation with a total stranger. A little friendly chatter isn’t a crime, but it’s still viewed as pretty unnecessary in the grand scheme of things.
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However, a study published by the American Psychological Association is challenging that notion by providing evidence that small talk can actually be pretty beneficial for you. Their research involved nine experiments with over 1,800 participants. After predicting how much they thought they would enjoy talking about specific things, each person then had real chats with strangers or friends, in person or online.
The results were overwhelmingly clear. Most people had far more enjoyable interactions than they had initially expected. Even when both parties labeled the topic as boring, they still finished the experiment feeling happier than when they started.
Talking to people plays a major role in mental and physical health.
So, why exactly do we form a negative opinion before small talk even starts? Well, the researchers believe that people may focus too much on the topic itself. Once they start talking, though, the interaction becomes far more important.
“What really drives enjoyment is engagement,” claims Elizabeth Trinh, MA, a doctoral student at the University of Michigan and lead author of the research. “Feeling heard, responding to each other, and discovering unexpected details about someone’s life can make even a mundane topic meaningful.”
Part of the problem is that we’ve become so used to measuring our conversations by what we get out of them. We want fascinating stories and thoughtful opinions, so a two-second chat with a stranger seems pointless. But everyday interactions are actually a crucial part of being human.
Having casual interactions is just as important as maintaining our closest relationships.
Most of us know that having good friends and family to lean on is meaningful, but those aren’t the only connections that matter. Psychologists have distinguished strong ties, which include the people we’re closest to, and weak ties, like the barista who knows our usual order. Psychology professor Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D.described how interacting more frequently with acquaintances and strangers, or weak ties, is associated with greater well-being.
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The thing is, having weak ties gives us a sense of belonging that we might not even realize we’re missing. Our closest relationships offer the real support, but weaker ties keep us connected outside of our little bubbles.
Sometimes, it’s just nice to be reminded that you’re part of a community, even if you only know someone’s name. Building a satisfying social life is about appreciating the many people who make our world feel a little more like a community.
Kayla Asbach is a writer with a bachelor’s degree from the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.