Managing stress isn’t something you’re somehow born knowing how to do. People who let that kind of anxiety go unchecked get themselves in real trouble when times get tough.
They likely won’t even realize they’re heading toward burnoutbut you’ll be able to tell because they tend to reveal just how poorly they’re managing in the specific words and phrases they use when you talk to them.
Specific phrases overly stressed people say when they have no idea they’re heading toward burnout:
1. ‘I work better under pressure’
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I know, I know. There are people out there who really believe pressure is a motivator. But when someone constantly relies on pressure to get moving, it can be a sign they’ve gotten too comfortable operating under distress.
It’s like they’ve tricked themselves into constantly running on overdrive. Eventually, that’s going to take a toll on their quality of life. The problem is that people confuse being able to function under pressure with managing stress well. That’s just not true. It just means they’ve gotten used to the feeling of stress. Remember, you don’t have to make everything harder than it needs to be just to prove that you can handle it.
2. ‘I prefer to do it myself’
Some people have a really hard time asking for help. They’d rather take on ten different responsibilities than admit they’re struggling with even one of them. It can stem from a fear of being seen as weak.
Independence is an admirable trait. So is knowing when it’s time to ask for help.
And, of course, not being able to ask for help only adds to their stress. We’re meant to rely on others and form partnerships and friendships. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone else carry a little of the weight.
3. ‘I have always been like this’
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This is one of those comments people make when they’ve become so accustomed to stress that they don’t even recognize it as something they can change. There’s no reward at the end of your life for choosing the long way around. And just because someone grew up a certain way doesn’t mean they have to be that way for their entire life.
But I know this is easier said than done. When someone starts treating stress as a badge of honor, they are using it as a crutch. You don’t have to be the person who worries about everything or feels like you’re constantly running out of time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to feel a little easier.
4. ‘It’s fine. I’m fine.’
At this point, we should treat this as a daily affirmation. This is always what I tell myself when something astronomically bad happens. You tell yourself it’s fine and you’re fine long enough, and soon you’ll actually believe it.
But there’s another side to telling yourself and others you’re fine when you’re not. A darker side. We all know when your girl says she’s fine, she most definitely is not fine. Burying that anxiety will only make it worse.
Constantly dismissing their own feelings can make it even harder to figure out what they need in the first place. When they’re so used to brushing things off, they might not give themselves the chance to work through what’s stressing them out, or ask someone for support. You don’t have to wait until you’re completely at your breaking point to admit that things have been difficult. It’s okay to not be okay every once in a while.
5. ‘I just need one thing to go right’
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We’ve all had those days when it feels like absolutely nothing is going our way. I’m talking about people who constantly feel like they’re waiting for just one thing to go right.
When they’re already stressed, minor problems can feel overwhelming. Rather than having the energy to work through things, they find themselves wishing that, just once, something could be easy. They’ve reached the point where their nervous system is crying for a break.
Julia McNulty is a writer with a Master’s degree in Literary & Cultural Studies who specializes in lifestyle, relationship, culture, and human interest topics.