There’s a lot of discussion about how much a wedding costs these days, but one bridesmaid made everyone think they should pay closer attention to the financial burden placed on the wedding party with a Reddit post.
I’ve only been a bridesmaid once in my life, and I think I was lucky. It was my cousin’s wedding, and it was pretty laidback, so all I had to pay for was the dress, the gifts, and some of the food and decorations at the shower I co-hosted. Things were completely different for this bridesmaid. Even with splitting the cost of the bridal shower, she was still paying way more than anyone should have expected her to.
A bridesmaid’s expected contribution for the shower alone was $250.
The woman admitted this was really the first wedding she had attended, and she was also asked to be a bridesmaid. While she felt “super excited,” she was left with quite the conundrum.
She described a special “bridal shower party for the bride and other close friends,” which nine people were planning together. With the cost split between them all, each was expected to contribute around $250. Assuming they split it evenly, that means the total cost for the event was approximately $2,250.
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock
This bridesmaid was concerned because she knew the bridal shower would “burn a hole in my wallet.” Apparently, this money was supposed to go towards the cost of the venue, refreshments, decorations, “bride’s special dress,” and even pajamas for the guests.
Naturally, other people on Reddit were pretty shocked. “Usually hosting a shower is by choice, not just getting thrown in as part of a group,” one person remarked. Another said, “That sounds like a crazy amount to me, but most of the showers I’ve attended have been at someone’s home with light snacks.”
Being a bridesmaid isn’t cheap, but there’s really no precedent for spending this much money on a bridal shower.
DocPhotos | Shutterstock
According to The Knot, bridesmaids usually have to pay for a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding, as well as their dress, hair, and makeup, and a portion of the bachelorette party. Nothing was said about a shower that costs thousands of dollars.
The most expensive part of the whole affair appears to be the bachelorette party by a longshot. The Knot estimated bachelorettes cost about $1,300, with most attendees paying less than $1,000 to be a part of them. Much of this is dependent on the location of the party and whether or not it requires you to travel.
Annie Joy Williams, an assistant editor at The Atlantic, wrote about her own experience serving as a bridesmaid every year for seven years in a row. She estimated that she spent around $20,000 on those “bridal-party duties.” Again, she emphasized the expense of bachelorette parties, not bridal showers.
It feels more than a little tacky for a bride to expect her closest friends to spend that much money on her wedding.
At the end of the day, that’s a lot to ask, even from the best of friends. Sarah Schreiber, a former editor of Brides, told Williams, “You claim to love these people, so let’s treat them like you love them.” It feels like that rarely happens, though.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
And the insanity isn’t just limited to members of the wedding party. A recent Zillow analysis found that almost half of Gen Z and millennials had actually “made a housing sacrifice” so they could simply afford to attend a wedding, without actually having any sort of role or responsibility.
It’s totally understandable that people want their wedding to be memorable. However, it’s important to also keep in mind that the people who care about you want to be able to celebrate with you without the cost prohibiting them. If a wedding is a celebration of a couple’s love and union, then that should come before making it the most expensive event possible.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
Comments are closed.