We rarely hear from first-time dads about their transition into parenthood. Most of the time, it’s common for new mothers to be offered support, community, and room to open up about the stresses and obstacles of motherhood, but just as moms can become overwhelmed and feel lonely, the same can be said for dads.
This is why a Brooklyn-based content creator and new dad named Joe Gonzales decided to actually do something about the lack of support by sharing his experience on TikTok. He decided to put out a bit of a rallying cry to other new dads in the New York City/Brooklyn area, encouraging a sense of community to help with those feelings of isolation.
The new dad hosted a meetup with other fathers after admitting he felt ‘isolated.’
“If you’re a dad or you know a dad in Brooklyn. My name is Joe, I’m a dad myself, and this Saturday at 1 p.m. in McCarren Park, I’m hosting a meetup for dads, so if you’re interested, come through,” Gonzales said, pointing viewers to a link in his bio that had more information.
He encouraged dads to come if they wanted to connect with other dads to form a sense of community.
The dad was nervous no one would show up for the event, but he was sorely mistaken.
Sharing photos from the event that took place on October 19, the turnout was quite amazing. Gonzales admitted that before the meetup, he was nervous that no one would show up but was genuinely surprised by the number of dads who did. “I really believe in this generation of dads we are learning and breaking the mold of what we have experienced.”
Gonzales admitted that he had been feeling “isolated” in his new routine and didn’t have many friends in the city. To solve this problem, he chose to put himself out there by setting a date.
In an interview with PeopleGonzales admitted that he was going to make this a routine meetup, calling it the Brooklyn Stroll Club. He told the publication that “almost 20 first-time dads from all over New York” showed up and “shared stories on what it’s been like (being parents).”
With five months of fatherhood under his belt, Gonzales credited his own dad and his friend Aaron with preparing him for the sudden shift from having no children to welcoming a son. “My friend Aaron is the most intentional person I know. I see it with his family but also with himself and others. He has inspired me to be a loving, present father to my son but also be intentional to the people around me. Having a son has (shown) me that I’m a constant example for him, and Aaron has been a great example for me.”
He continued, “Posting these recap photos on TikTok made me even more surprised because I’ve had so many parents from all over saying how much they wish they could have something like this and how it heals their inner child seeing dads getting together. I have had so many dads in my comments reaching out saying that they want to be at the next one, and the dads that came have been so encouraging about it.”
A majority of new dads often experience symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety.
Just like moms experience periods of anxiety and depression after giving birth, the same happens to dads as they transition into fatherhood. Of course, this is not to say that men’s postpartum depression and anxiety outweighs a woman’s, but it does exist.
A 2021 study showed that 1 in 10 men experience prenatal and postpartum anxiety. In a similar survey by Parents and Verywell Mind who partnered to survey 1,600 Dads in the U.S. to find out how dads are feeling, a concerning picture of the state of dad’s mental health was painted.
Findings indicated that many dads are hurting and need more support. When it comes to mental health, many fathers are struggling. Of those surveyed, 2 in 3 dads said they have been at least moderately stressed in the last 30 days, and 43% of dads say at least half their stress is related to child care, with 62% saying the pressure to provide for their family is a major stressor.
Nearly 83% of respondents say they prioritize their family’s needs over their own. At the same time, 59% of responding dads say they do more childcare and/or parenting than they get credit for.
It’s why, just like mothers, fathers need a sense of community among their peers because there’s nothing worse than feeling as if you’re alone in your mental health struggles.
Having meetups in parks with other dads, grabbing coffee with the dads in your lives, or even reaching out for professional help can make the difference between feeling like you’re drowning and finding your footing as a parent. It’s why more dads like Gonzales should be encouraging a sense of community among peers because the results are far reaching.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
Comments are closed.