Parents spend years of their lives living in a household with their children, taking care of them, and raising them to thrive in the real world. It’s bittersweet when they eventually transition into adulthood and move out of their childhood home.
A dad named Thomas D'Allesandro admitted on TikTok that one aspect of this changing dynamic caught him by surprise.
The dad said that no one warned him about the silence of an empty nest.
“I miss the laughter, the daddy-daughter dancing, the endless questions,” he said sadly. “I miss the building forts out of couch cushions and sheets. I miss our fake baking show where we would make homemade chocolate pudding, pies, brownies, and cookies and pretend that we were Gordon Ramsay and all that action.”
He explained that his daughters were a large part of his life, and still are. However, since becoming an empty nester, he’s found the sudden silence to be unexpectedly jarring.
“I’m left with the ghosts of our past escapades,” he said. “Sadly, the echoes of their footsteps are kind of fading into the abyss of time. But such is life, I guess.”
Becoming an empty nester is a challenging transition period for many parents.
According to research from 2023around 30-40% of parents experience depressive symptoms after becoming empty nesters, with some studies showing a prevalence rate as high as 46.5%.
“I raised my bears to be fierce, and independent woman, to seize their destiny with both hands, and they’ve done just that, and I couldn’t be more proud,” D’Allesandro remarked.
“Still, when the night comes, and the world is so still that it feels like you could hear the stars thinking, that is when I miss them the most.”
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Parents must take care of themselves and their mental health during this difficult time.
D’Allesandro shared the activities that he does to take his mind off his daughters’ absences. To combat the feelings of nostalgia and loneliness, he said that he goes on walks and orders pizza, makes himself a Häagen-Dazs banana milkshake, and reflects on his journey of parenthood.
Empty-nesters are encouraged to start filling their time with different hobbies and interests. Consider taking a pottery class, using your newfound free time to travel, volunteering, adopting a pet, or joining a book club.
When your children were young and living in your house, it was likely difficult to find time to pursue your own interests. Becoming an empty nester is a great opportunity to do just that.
Despite D’Allesandro’s feelings about being an empty nester, he insisted that he was proud of all the things his daughters have accomplished.
“I’m walking here along this river with a heart that aches softly. Like an empty hand reaching for what isn’t there,” he said. “To the daughters I love very much, may you continue to fly high and, of course, always find your way back to your daddy’s heart ’cause I promise the homemade chocolate pudding pie will be waiting.”
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
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