There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be yourself, but sometimes you have to ask yourself — are you really trying to be yourself or just different from everyone else? Because there is a fine line between the two, and it’s important to differentiate so you can gain a deeper understanding of who you are. This may prove a tough challenge for Gen Z because the concept of self and individuality has become more focused on differentiating themselves from others.
With social media, people can curate exactly who they are through aesthetics like playlists made with hours of thought on music streaming platforms and carefully selected reposts on TikTok. It has become easier than ever to showcase who you are or how unique you are. The problem is Gen Z is trying so hard to be unique that uniqueness has become ubiquitous and not unique at all.
A Gen Zer wondered why their generation is so ‘obsessed’ with being different.
In a Reddit post, a Gen Zer expressed confusion as to why members of their generation have developed an increased focus on appearing more unique than their peers. “I get that the previous generations forced weird stigmas on us and its good that we’re breaking those social rules and everyone gets to enjoy being themselves but why is everyone so obsessed with doing so?” they wrote.
They continued on to say that it’s gotten to the point where people make fun of others for being “basic” and that being unique should be one option, not the only one.
Commenters discussed the different reasons for the focus on individualism.
“The culture says everyone needs to be special, so everyone tries to conform to that expectation and spend all their life energy being interesting/unique/special in trivial and meaningless ways that are ultimately inauthentic,” one commenter said. Essentially, some people try so hard to be different that they’re not being true to themselves.
Another talked about how social media has led to people attempting to brand themselves. “Many people are trying to build a brand and a brand has to differentiate itself. That wasn’t the case before we were so visible on social media. And then people disparage people who don’t work as hard to build a brand because they are uncomfortable with the thought of it and are projecting their insecurities.”
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On social media, people try to push themselves into certain aesthetics and have perpetuated the practice of “gatekeeping,” which refers to not sharing information about a topic, such as not wanting people to find out about a certain show you watch or not wanting to share the brand of lipstick you’re wearing.
Instead of just truly being different by doing what makes them happy, they spend lots of energy showing how the things they are interested in set them apart from others. Their mindset mimics ideas like “You don’t understand so and so the way I understand it” and “Why is so and so becoming mainstream?” While the nature of these comments leans towards joking, there is a level of seriousness to them. People are clinging to the things they hold dear to them before they become just another part of mainstream internet culture.
“I think more people ‘being different’ is nice in some ways but it does also feel over saturated and therefore loses its effect. It no longer signals someone being interesting or subversive by any means, or that a specific aesthetic means that a person belongs to a certain community or has specific interests,” a third commenter replied. “It would just be nice if people were themselves, but even that opens more questions, and most people’s tastes are also evolutionary.”
Be who you are without trying so hard to be different from everyone else.
While this might sound easy, to a lot of people, it’s actually not. So many people, especially members of Gen Z, spend so much of their time on social media and have shifted their focus from enjoying things simply for pleasure to enjoying them because they set us apart from others. The truth is, the more true to yourself you are, the more unique you are, even if you share similarities with others.
And that might be the ultimate goal for uniqueness. A 2022 study found that at the end of the day, “People not only strive to belong to a group but also want to be unique from others and feel exceptional.” What Gen Z hasn’t learned yet, likely because they are still young and figuring things out, is that being authentic to yourself allows you to walk that line. You are already uniquely you, and that doesn’t and shouldn’t prohibit you from engaging and enjoying like-minded individuals. It doesn’t take away from your uniqueness.
If you enjoy something outside of mainstream culture for what it is, then that’s great, and you should continue to do so. But you shouldn’t let the main reason you indulge in a hobby or adopt a sense of style be because you want to be different; just be yourself, and that’s as different as you’ll ever need to be.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
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