A Reddit poster admitted that his actions during his vegetarian wife’s recent trip away shifted their entire relationship dynamic for the worse.
He didn’t cheat while she was gone, nor did he gamble away their savings. Rather, he and his children ate meat “every chance they got.”
The husband was accused of disrespecting his vegetarian wife’s ‘boundaries’ by secretly eating meat with his kids while she was out of town.
“A year ago, my wife converted to a new religion, which included her giving up meat,” the 38-year-old man wrote in a since-deleted Reddit post. “The whole family — me and my two young boys — were supportive of this and we held a vegetarian-only dinner that night as a little sign of our support.”
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As time passed, it became clear that his wife was dedicated to the vegetarian lifestyle, which he wholeheartedly supported. Still, the man and his sons did not give up meat.
Around eight months later, things started to change.
“Along with not eating meat, my wife now no longer wanted to be around it,” he wrote. But dietary shifts — like swapping out pork for Jackfruit and their milk for dairy-free options — weren’t the only changes his wife made. “Shirts were only bought from clean brands,” he added, “and deodorants were swapped for pills.”
As his wife implemented more changes, tension grew within their family.
“To say this was creating a rift would be an understatement,” he admitted, “and eventually, I brought it up to (my) wife.”
He told her that while he was supportive of her lifestyle changes, he and their sons should not have to make the same ones. His wife argued that her values changed, and it was difficult for her to be around the stuff she swapped out.
Of course, adopting this lifestyle is no easy feat, and it makes sense why his wife wanted to rid the house of any temptations. Yet, considering that her religious change and lifestyle shift were fairly new and not something the entire family agreed to undertake, her demands only cultivated resentment within their home.
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After the unproductive conversation, tensions grew further — their kids were sneaking around, having friends bring meat for them to eat in secret, and discomfort hovered around every familial interaction.
When his wife went on a business trip, things reached a tipping point.
“I’m ashamed to type this out, but the boys and I mostly ate meat basically every chance we got,” he admitted. “This was all fine and dandy. The boys and I had a great time until my wife returned home and it somehow slipped out what we had done.”
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His wife accused him of ‘setting a bad example’ for their kids by eating meat, despite never agreeing to adopt her lifestyle.
“I have never seen her so disappointed in us,” he wrote. “After putting the boys to bed we argued for hours about how I was setting a poor example for the boys, that I should respect the decisions made by my wife, even if they’re tough and inconvenient.”
But, that’s exactly the disconnect — this wasn’t a decision made by both parents, it was one demanded by his wife. And as he clearly stated time and time again, “I don’t wanna be vegetarian/vegan, and neither do the boys.”
Changing her eating habits and giving up meat is her prerogative, but forcing her family to make the same decision against their will isn’t healthy. It will only breed resentment and damage their relationships.
“Why do you have to respect the decisions that she makes when she has no respect for the decisions that you make?” one commenter questioned. “You and your children need to have a say in your lifestyles. One person doesn’t get to make unilateral decisions for everyone.”
Respect is a two-way street. She should respect her family’s wishes, just as they respected her decision to convert religions and stop eating meat. Not everyone has to follow the same diet to live in the same household, but everyone should have respect for each other and their decisions.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories
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