Amid toxic “alpha” male rhetoric and “manosphere” narratives spreading unchecked online, the male-centered “Dropping Bombs” podcast is facing backlash for denouncing girls’ trips.
Guest Justin Waller admitted to host Brad Lea that he is not okay with wives traveling on girls’ trips, and Lea agreed. They went so far as to compare their spouses to their trucks — a possession that shouldn’t be out of their sight.
A husband argued that girls’ trips are never actually ‘for girls,’ and they’re just an excuse for wives to cheat on their partners.
Instead of celebrating individuality in a relationship, which is not only extremely healthy for long-term connections but also for each partner’s mental health, these two men condemned any and all alone time — especially girls’ trips.
Waller even said that a “good woman” wouldn’t want to go away without her husband and, not surprisingly, he, along with Lea, offended a great many people with their assertions.
A TikTok from a husband called RuckUp criticized the outdated thinking in a stitch, stating, “All I’m saying is that our wives are adults, and they’re capable of doing things themselves and putting themselves in good or bad situations — just like we are …She’s free to do whatever she wants.”
The husband said girls’ trips aren’t wholesome or valuable and ‘Good women wouldn’t even want to go.’
“I’m not a big fan of girls’ trips,” host Lea agreed. “There’s just no such thing.”
“It’s just controlling,” RuckUp said, denouncing the men’s opinions. “If (your wife) doesn’t want to go on the girl’s trip … that’s completely understandable. But, all of you guys come on here and make it sound like it’s your choice that they don’t get to do these things, so yeah, you probably get flack for it.”
While it seems to mostly be men who are threatened by the idea of a girls’ trip, some women also take a similar approach — arguing that if you were happy in your marriage, you’d never feel the need to “go out” or party.
However, there’s a misguided notion that wanting time away from your significant other, even on a girls’ trip, has anything to do with fidelity. You’re not flirting by talking to another man. You’re not cheating by going out partying and hanging out with your friends.
Obviously, there are certain expectations and boundaries you can communicate with your partner — that’s your prerogative — but finding ways to control someone who doesn’t cater to your every insecurity isn’t a partnership; it’s an unhealthy power dynamic.
This husband is not alone in his opinion; some men take a similar stance as a way to control their wives.
Despite the overwhelming backlash Waller and Lea received for voicing their opinions about girls’ trips – along with marriage and women, in general — other men on TikTok have been caught with similar views.
David Angelini | Shutterstock.com
“I would invite you to no longer be in the current state of our marriage … I’d be indifferent,” Sid Greek said in a video on his wife’s TikTok account. “If you want to go on girls’ trips and do that stuff, you should be single.”
This opinion doesn’t align with the notion of a trusting and loving relationship. Instead, it reeks of men who are scared of their wives having friendships, lives, and even doing things like girls’ trips without them: they’re incredibly insecure.
They don’t trust their wives, they don’t trust themselves, and they’re not confident enough to let their wives have a personality, identity, or life outside of their connection with them.
These men fear the repercussions of what could happen on a girls’ trip — but what exactly do they think their wives are doing? “I don’t want to put her in that situation,” Waller said. “It’s like… I trust the locks on my truck, but I’m not going to park it in the ghetto.”
Ultimately, his fear that his wife will realize there’s something better out there is masked by control. “If that’s what he thinks they’re doing on girls trips, he’s projecting,” one commenter wrote. “That’s what he would do on a boys’ trip.”
Viewing your wife as someone you can control rather than openly communicate with is not a healthy foundation for a relationship — it’s a recipe for divorce.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories
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