I fear divorcing my Singaporean husband could cost me custody of my child

I am 31 years old, married to a Singaporean man, and we have a child who is three.

After our wedding, I moved to Singapore to live with my husband’s family. In the beginning, I did not have a steady job, and my residency paperwork was still being processed, so I depended largely on my husband financially.

Since I could not work right away, I decided to have a child and care for the baby myself.

Problems became more serious during my pregnancy and after I gave birth. Since hiring a caregiver in Singapore is expensive, I asked my mother to come from Vietnam to help care for me and the baby for a while.

My mother is used to buying fresh food daily, and so on weekends she often asked my husband to drive her to a market not very near our home.

My mother-in-law was unhappy about this. She repeatedly implied that my mother was inconveniencing her son. Tensions peaked when the two families argued inside the house. The comment that shocked me most was when my mother-in-law said: “Your mother is your responsibility. Don’t make my son run around for her.”

What disappointed me most was my husband’s reaction. During the argument, he stayed almost completely silent. He did not yell at me or defend his mother, but his silence made me feel alone in a place that already felt unfamiliar.

After that incident, the distance between us grew. We still live together, raise our child and share household expenses, but we rarely talk about our feelings anymore.

I have considered divorce many times. But whenever I look at my child, I hesitate. I am a foreigner, and my job is still unstable. I worry that divorce would complicate everything. Housing, residency documents and child custody would all become more difficult. What I fear most is being separated from my child.

I do not know whether I could support myself in Singapore if I left my husband. But if I stay, I will continue to feel emotionally exhausted, and my child will grow up in an unhappy home.

I hope to hear from other women living abroad who have experienced similar situations.