I was going from home to work by train. A mother was sitting with her two children on the front seat. The children must have been five-seven years old. They fought among themselves. One child snatched something from the other's hand and ran away. The mother asked the child who made the mistake to apologize. Don't believe the child. The mother insisted two-three times to forgive me. The child agreed and said to the other child, “Sumimasen.” I smiled thinking the matter was resolved. Sumimasen simply means sorry! It means I apologize for the mistake. But mother was not satisfied. Mother said, “Sumimasen, you did not mean it. Say Sumimasen from the bottom of your heart.
I was shocked. But the mother made the child realize his mistake again and again and asked him to apologize with a true heart. Finally the child realized something and said “Sumimasen” again. The mother felt relieved. Everything became normal. My point was complete. If you have understood, then it is okay if you do not read further. Two words are used so much in Japanese colloquial speech that any foreigner remembers them on the first or second day.
The first word is 'sumimasen' which means kheema. The second word 'arigato' means thank you. Even Europeans don't understand why Japanese say sorry when they say thank you. For example, someone opened the door for you, someone gave you space or someone solved your pending work. Most Indians do not pay attention to such occasions. Europeans end their conversation by saying thank you. But the Japanese will immediately bow their head and say in a helpless voice, 'sumimasen'.
It simply means that I am sorry for the trouble you had to go through because of me.” There is no doubt that these words contain gratitude. In the Japanese language, four words are used to say sorry, apologize, ask for forgiveness, express regret or express hurt. The first is Sumimasen. Which is used in front of strangers. The second is Gomena Sai. It is used among family or friends. The third is Shittatsurei Itashimashita which is an apology made in a very formal type of situation. It can also be an apology for your rude behavior. The fourth word is Moshiwake Gozaimasen. It is the most formal word which is used when a big mistake is made. I think Sumimasen or Gomenasai are very magical words. They keep the mental temperature of society or social beings under control. They also create a pleasant atmosphere of people caring for each other. Every day we hurt thousands of people knowingly or unknowingly. Society means depending on each other, hurting each other. Saying “Thank you” or “Sorry for any trouble or inconvenience” on these thousands of small occasions helps to make our environment comfortable and peaceful. The Indian person knowingly or unknowingly considers himself the center of the society. So he keeps thinking that whatever he is getting, he is getting the benefit. Earning by his talent and hard work. It is the duty of the people around me to acknowledge my achievements and give me the status or respect of a hero. There is a commonly used phrase in our country that man is a bundle of mistakes. But being an Indian or a Punjabi, I do not remember my parents or any teacher ever teaching me any way to apologize or repent after doing something wrong. Are we a nation that does not repent after making a mistake? I have seen many times in Indian social life people argue, threaten or punch instead of admitting that they are wrong. The matter has even reached the court. But I have rarely seen them end the matter by humbly repenting of the mistake. The abuse that continues throughout life, even in our relationships and institutions, is actually due to the inability to say two words of apology for a small mistake. But the Japanese person knowingly or unknowingly puts society at the center and considers himself an insignificant part of this society. Therefore, he considers any of his achievements as his own and the achievement of the entire society. In Japan, you will often hear a gold medal winning Olympian, Nobel Prize winner or national artist being referred to by society as “Sumimasen or Moshiwake Gozaimasen”. It simply means that “I don’t know how many people have suffered because of this achievement of mine. I humbly, apologetically, gratefully bow down to everyone.”
It is a matter of thought that why are our sportsmen, officials, ministers and famous artists so afraid of being a common man? I have been in Japan for a long time. During this time I have never seen any VIP. I keep thinking that thousands of ministers or former ministers, thousands of Olympic gold medalists, hundreds of Nobel Prize winners, priests of great historical temples and thousands of officers of big companies do not know where they live? This small country of Asia competes with all the developed countries of Europe. But does not produce a single VIP. All of them are ordinary and travel in ordinary buses and cars. Honestly, sometimes I feel that there is definitely something wrong here.
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