These were some very unhappy endings.
While it’s important to enjoy exciting sex, attempting to enact erotic fantasies can sometimes go horribly awry.
Mortified kinksters have recounted some of their most embarrassing failed sexperiments, including making whoopie in the desert, botched food play, and even trying to join the mile-high club.
They detailed these backfired boudoir sessions in a post eliciting cringes across Reddit.
One explained a disastrous incident where they had “sex in the desert at night coming home from Vegas.” “Creepy crawly desert things don’t sleep at night,” rued the randy Redditor, recalling how the session left them high and dry.
Another terrible setting for sex? A storage unit teeming with creepy-crawlies.
“There’s a closing time and if you miss it you’ll get stuck behind the gates for the night,” recalled one unfortunate partaker. “Then the people who live there start rustling.”
Other reviled hanky panky hotspots, per the thread, included libraries (due to the cameras), beaches because of the sand, and a rooftop.
“Rooftop shingles aren’t the ‘sexy’ kind of painful,” confessed one Redditor while detailing the injuries sustained during their sex session.
Food play might seem like a way to stimulate the sexual appetite, but some experiences prove that it can be a carnal catastrophe.
One kinkster said they found out the “hard way” that putting one’s manhood in a glass of wine is not only unfulfilling but that it “really stings.”
By a similar token, don’t try and sweeten the deal with honey because it will make a huge mess, according to one randy poster.
“You destroy every surface you touch,” they cautioned. “You’ll be cleaning it like you’re cleaning glitter.”
In perhaps the most mortifying failed sex story, one Redditor claimed that they went to a swinger’s party where everyone seemed like they came from the “bus stop” and they ended up with poop on their leg.
Another frequently mentioned fantasy was joining the mile-high club, per one poster, who claimed that the bathrooms are getting smaller and people “always notice.”
Not to mention that having sex in the sky can get people in hot water.
“I’ve caught a couple with their pants down in the back of our plane once,” air hostess Suzanne Bucknam, who works for an unnamed airline, said in a recent tell-all interview. “We did an emergency landing and had them escorted off the plane, then got back in the air without them.”
Indeed, while going at it on an airplane is not explicitly illegal, flyers risk breaking public indecency and other laws if they choose to partake.
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