Lost and presumed dead, son finds way home after 50 years

Six months after reuniting with his birth family, Thanh, a feed mill worker in Queensland, Australia, still struggles to believe it is real. “I am afraid I will wake up and find myself back in the same place of not knowing who I am or where I come from, like the past 50 years,” he says.

Now 57, he vividly recalls the life-changing summer day in 1974 when he climbed into the trailer of a tractor to escape a beating from his stepmother. He fell asleep, unaware the tractor would take him from southern Tay Ninh town to Saigon.

Waking up in a strange city, 7-year-old Thanh wandered aimlessly, begging for food and seeking shelter in the porches of houses. “I was starving and often chased away. I would cry every night until my eyes swelled because I missed home.” Young Thanh had little knowledge of his origins. He assumed he was from central Vietnam: The woman who adopted him when he was 11 once remarked that he had a strong Hue accent.

He had no memory of his parents’ names but remembered fragments of their lives. After his parents divorced, his father moved to Saigon to work as a cyclo driver while his mother made a living fishing in nearby waters.

At 7, his father and stepmother relocated to Tay Ninh, where he endured severe physical abuse from his stepmother whenever his father was away for work. These traumatic experiences continued to haunt his nightmares during the time he lived on the streets of Saigon.

His life took a turn when a roadside mechanic took pity on him and took him home. There he helped repair vehicles and assisted with household chores. “For three years I was never left hungry though the family was struggling financially.” Each night he replayed his childhood memories, determined not to forget his roots. “It was my way of holding onto my identity.”

At the mechanic’s workshop, he met a man who was avoiding military service and hiding in a boat in District 8. The man invited him to stay with him and keep watch over the boat. Eleven-year-old Thanh took on a job washing boats for traders from other provinces who came to the city to sell their goods.

One day a fruit trader from Ben Tre town, who had lost her son in the war, expressed a desire to adopt him. Initially he declined, but after accidentally damaging an acquaintance’s bicycle and fearing he would be forced to compensate, he fled to the woman’s boat to seek refuge.

This was in early 1980, marking the second time he was adopted. Since his adoptive mother frequently traveled for months to trade goods, she left him with relatives.

He would work on sugarcane farms, helping make sugar in exchange for food. Each time his mother returned, she would bring him new clothes and proudly introduce him to neighbors and friends as her son. While she was very affectionate, he had to endure taunts from others.

These moments only strengthened his longing to find his biological family. But as a child with no knowledge of his parents’ whereabouts or even names, his quest seemed an impossible one. “I only remembered my mother fishing from a small boat, but I had no idea where to look.”

Constantly put down and ostracized, he eagerly agreed when a friend suggested they should leave Vietnam in search of a better life. At the end of 1984 their group trekked through Cambodia before illegally entering Thailand, where they were arrested. He spent three months in prison before being transferred to a refugee camp. There, at the age of 17, he began learning Vietnamese and English for the first time.

In 1990 he was granted asylum in Australia. Over the years he worked as a welder, laborer and bakery assistant. Though the grind of daily survival dulled his memories, he never abandoned hope of reuniting with his family. “In my dreams, I saw my parents and siblings, but they were always walking away from me no matter how much I called out. I would wake up with my pillow soaked in tears.”

Six years later he returned to Vietnam to get married, hoping to reunite with his family on this special occasion. But again his fragmented memories yielded no results. “I registered to search for my family through newspapers, but they turned me down because I could not provide names or specific addresses.”

In February 2024 he discovered “Tuan Vy – Connecting Love,” a social media program that helps reunite lost families. Based on his account, the show narrowed his family’s past whereabouts to near Tam Giang Lagoon in central Thua Thien Hue province, which coincided with a friend’s observation that small fishing boats were typical of that area.

Just two days after the show posted his story online, Nguyen Thi Hong Sam of Da Nang City happened to see it. Noticing Thanh’s resemblance to her uncle, Tran Lo, and recognizing details from his story, she realized he could be his long-lost son.

Thanh (second from the left), accompanied by his father and two stepbrothers from his mother’s second marriage, during a family vacation in May 2024, after their reunion. Photo courtesy of Thanh

Thanh’s father, Lo, now 81, lives in Thua Thien Hue. Since Thanh’s disappearance he had lived with guilt, blaming himself for not protecting his son. He says: “At the time I was working as a cyclo driver. I searched all over Saigon, but could not find him.” Thanh’s mother, devastated by his disappearance, consulted a fortune teller who claimed her son had starved to death. Grieving, the family marked his death anniversary every year on the day he went missing.

Two years ago, after his second wife passed away, Lo returned to Thua Thien Hue.

When informed by his niece that “a man looks just like you and is searching for his family,” Lo got in touch with Thanh through Tuan Vy’s program. During their first video call, Thanh asked: “Can you tell me what was in front of your house before? And what did you do for a living?” Lo replied: “There was a railway track in front of my house, and I was a cyclo driver.” Hearing this, Thanh burst into tears, convinced he had found his father.

A DNA test a week later confirmed it. Now a father of three, Thanh returned to Hue with his family for the first time in May 2024. “Dad, I am home,” he said, hugging his father tightly. Both apologized for the years of separation and pain. “I wandered alone for 50 years, but now I have finally found my way home.”