A man has been accused of being immature and lazy after admitting that his girlfriend should be doing more chores now that she’s out of a job. Chances are, however, that regardless of whether she’s working or not, she probably does the bulk of the chores anyway.
According to the Gender Equity Policy Institute’s “The Free-Time Gender Gap,” women spend twice as much time as men, on average, on household work. It’s not just moms and married women either. Young women have 20% less free time than men their age because of all the extra tasks they’re faced with.
Unsurprisingly, this boyfriend took to Reddit to share that he expected his girlfriend to pick up the slack on household responsibilities since he’s now the only one in their relationship with a full-time job. However, others don’t necessarily agree with his take.
The man insisted that his ‘unemployed’ girlfriend should be doing more chores around the house.
In the Reddit post, he explained that he and his girlfriend split the rent on their apartment and shared everything equally. The bills are paid 50/50, along with all of their other necessities. While he has a lucrative job in engineering, his girlfriend works in healthcare.
fizkes | Shutterstock
Since his girlfriend went to medical school, she recently finished her residency and has two months to go before she starts her first job, which means she will be working under the supervision of other doctors at a hospital. He said his girlfriend was just taking time off to enjoy life before starting work at the hospital.
“She’s spending her mornings studying for her new job but also reading, watching Netflix, going to the gym, and for runs with her dog, etc.,” he wrote. “However, she hasn’t started contributing more to the household. I mean, she still cooks and cleans every day, but she still expects me to wash the dishes, and she won’t pick up my clothes after I have returned from work.”
He recalled that recently his girlfriend left some of his mail on the table unopened, and when he asked why she hadn’t looked through it, she reminded him that she was his partner, not his secretary. It’s also not her responsibility to open his personal mail, read it, and divide it into appropriate categories for him to see.
The girlfriend reminded him she wasn’t his ‘housekeeper’ and shouldn’t be solely responsible for cleaning up.
“I have been hinting that she should be picking up more chores now that she’s unemployed, but she says that she’s not my housekeeper,” he continued. She reminded him that she already does more than half of the chores, and since his workload hasn’t increased, he should still be able to do his share.
As it is, women already tend to take on more around the house than their counterparts, especially in heterosexual relationships. According to the Pew Research Center, most women (59%) do more household chores than their spouse or partner, while 6% say their spouse or partner does more. Among men, 46% say these responsibilities are shared equally, while 20% say they do more, and 34% say their spouse or partner does more.
The man argued that, while his girlfriend was right, he had the ability to do more around the house; he was just too tired after work. He’s a grown man, and just because she has extra time on her hands doesn’t mean that she needs to become his caretaker and housekeeper.
She won’t have nearly as much free time once she starts her career in healthcare.
The girlfriend has every right to prioritize her well-being and self-care during a transition period. This tiny break before the demands of her profession should be respected and supported by her boyfriend instead of being used as a justification for the supposed unequal completion of household responsibilities.
Studio Romantic | Shutterstock
She shouldn’t have to be diminished or exploited just because she’s choosing to have a bit of self-care before the demanding schedule of working in the healthcare field takes over. Soon, she’ll be spending hours upon hours away from the apartment, and when she does return, she’ll most likely be too exhausted even to cook herself a full meal, much less do anything else.
He’s more than welcome to hire a housekeeper if he doesn’t want to pull his weight. After all, a healthy relationship, especially where two people are living together, shouldn’t rely on gendered expectations of the other person. Each individual should do their fair share and feel valued and respected in their respective spaces.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
Comments are closed.