Millennials are a special generation. They were shaped by the rise of the internet and started a trend of breaking tradition from the generations that came before. However, millennials also faced their own share of challenges. They grew up during major cultural shifts, which heavily influenced how they live today.
Writer Kristen Shelt posted a video on TikTok talking about the “blind spots” of the millennial generation. These are just actions or behaviors that a collective generation engages in because it’s what they were taught to do. Shelt said, “Every generation has them; these are just the ones millennials tend not to see in themselves.”
Here are 5 things millennials were taught to do that unintentionally make life harder:
1. They mistake survival mode for stability
“It seems like you learned how to react fast, hold everything together, and perform in chaos, and you do it very well, ” Shelt explained. “But the blind spot is that you don’t always know how to turn that off.” She said that millennials are unable to trust when their system is calm, keeping them suspicious of rest and in constant survival mode.
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“Survival mode” is actually an informal term in psychology used to describe a prolonged stress response. It’s an ingrained instinct that’s meant to protect you from danger or help you detect a potential threat. However, the London Psychiatry Centre says spending too much time in survival mode can be harmful to your mental and physical health.
2. They confuse burnout with empowerment
According to Shelt, “You grew up being rewarded for doing the most, carrying everything, and being the reliable one, so you didn’t learn how to notice when you were exhausted or how to reward yourself. You just kept the systems running, and no one taught you how to stop.”
Experiencing burnout can also be extremely detrimental to your overall well-being. Sherrie Bourg, Psy.D. explained for Psychology Today, “Burnout has become such a familiar term that it’s common to hear people casually say, ‘Oh, I’m so burned out,’ when they’re merely referring to a bad day or a bad week. But for those who truly are burned out, it is much more than a bad day or a bad week. It’s a problem that significantly interferes with one’s health, happiness, and overall quality of life.”
3. They believe independence means doing everything alone
“Millennials were raised during the years of ‘be self-made, don’t need anyone, build your brand,’ so asking for help feels like failure,” Shelt claims. “But the truth is, life gets much easier when you stop trying to carry the entire world by yourself.”
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They are often afraid to ask for help due to the individualistic culture they were raised in. It can be difficult for millennials to let go and rely on others because they feel like they have to do everything themselves. Fortunately, there are many new ways for them to get support both online and in real life if they’re struggling with the pressure placed on them.
4. They think they’re the neutral generation
Shelt stated, “They think that they’re the calm middle between boomers and Gen Z, but that came from being expected to manage other people’s emotions, not because they mastered centrality. It was a survival tactic.”
It’s not a bad thing to exist in the middle, but it can feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders. She added, “Being forced to hold the peace doesn’t mean you were naturally balanced, it means unreasonable expectations were placed on you for a long time.”
5. They carry a lot of unrecognized grief
“You grew up with a long list of promises about career stability, housing, relationships, and institutions, and most of these collapsed right as you entered adulthood,” Shelt recalled, “So the grief never got named, it just turned into more burnout, more overworking, and that constant feeling of being behind no matter what you do.”
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Boomers were the last generation that truly got to enjoy affordable housing, a prolific job market, and a stable economy. Millennials were told they’d get all of these things, but never got to experience them for themselves. It’s okay for them to feel a sense of sadness or longing for the future they were promised, but they can also see it as a sign of incredible resilience and adaptability to overcome these challenges.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
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