When it comes to kids and navigating friendships, parents have a rough road. How much should they get involved, if at all? Learning to navigate the social landscape is an important part of growing up, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to stand by while your kid gets their feelings hurt or suffers a friendship breakup.
A twin mom is opening up about a recent incident that she “always knew” would happen regarding her twins and friends. Now, she is asking other parents how she should handle the fact that only one of her twin girls was invited to a classmate’s party.
A mom is seeking advice after only one of her twins was invited to a classmate’s birthday party.
Kristen, who is a mother to 4-year-old twin girls Jayna and Kinsley, took to TikTok to share her dilemma, asking others what they would do if they were in her shoes.
“I knew this day would come but I was so not prepared for it,” Kristen said, admitting that the entire situation was bothering her as she drove to work.
“Last night, we received an invitation for one of my two twin girls to go to a birthday party.”
Since both twins are in the same class she struggled to understand why they both weren’t invited to the birthday.
The mom shared that her twin girls are both in the same class as the birthday kid, and she was confused as to why only one of her kids received an invite.
“I’ve been racking my brain on what to do. I knew that this was gonna happen eventually. I just didn’t think that it was gonna happen, you know, at this age,” she said.
Kristen explained that she doesn’t want one of her twins to feel left out while her sister goes to the party and is contemplating giving the mom of the birthday kid an ultimatum: either both girls go, or neither of them goes.
However, not everyone in the comments section of her video was on board with her.
Some people argued that since the twins were both two separate people, it shouldn’t matter that only one of them got invited to the party.
“The invited twin goes to the party. They aren’t two halves of a whole, they are separate people with individual likes and friendships,” one TikTok user commented.
“Maybe the child is just friends with one of your daughters. Why do they both have to be invited?” another noted.
Ultimately, most people came to the conclusion that the invited twin should be allowed to attend the party whether or not her sister was invited.
“Mom of two sets of twins — just take the one that was invited!! It’s okay for them to do things solo. The other twin can have a special day out with dad, grandparent, babysitter, etc.,” one TikTok user wrote.
“Twin here… PLEASE don’t take away the opportunity of the one child to attend because the other was not invited. That’s life. I love the idea of going to do something fun one-on-one during the party time,” another user shared.
People often forget that twins are two entirely separate individuals with different identities. One does not have to adopt the same interests or friends as the other.
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Mikhaila Friel, a senior reporter at Business Insidersaid that she wishes people would stop assuming that she and her identical twin sister are the exact same person.
“While there is no denying our similarities, Aimee and I also have major differences in our personalities, our hobbies, our style, and in our life experiences,” she wrote in an article. “As a twin, it can be difficult to form your own identity and to have your peers recognize it. Having someone say you are like ‘the same person’ — even if it’s in a joking manner — only reinforces the misconception that twins are not individuals.”
Even if twins do more things together when they are younger, it is okay for them to drift apart as they grow into their own personal identities.
This includes making their own friends and going to their birthday parties without their twins.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
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