Until you’ve had a child yourself, it can be difficult to know how to help your friends when they become parents. You want to be supportive but are unsure of where to start.
Mom and content creator Cameron Oaks Rogers has the perfect solution to this quandary.
She told friends who have no idea how to ‘show up’ for the new moms in their lives exactly what to do.
If you want to drop off a gift, Rogers said food is the way to go. But if you’re geographically close to the new mom and have a few hours to spare, she shared another idea. Send the new mom a next with your available hours and offer to help in any way she needs.
Rogers shared an example of a text she sent a friend who recently welcomed a new baby. “Good morning love! I am yours from the hours of 12 to 3 tomorrow so please let me know how you would like to use me. Here are some options,” Rogers wrote.
She emphasized the importance of providing the new parent with options.
In Rogers’ text, she listed laundry, cooking, cleaning, preparing bottles, and buying groceries as a few possibilities. She offered to take care of the baby while the parents caught up on sleep or went out together. She also suggested taking the mom out for lunch with or without the baby, or just hanging out at the house and chatting or watching a movie.
If the parents have another child at home, friends can also offer to watch the older child so the parents get alone time with the baby and vice versa.
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“You can decide whenever you want,” Rogers ended the text message, “just let me know!”
Postpartum is an overwhelming time. Providing the new mom with a list of options takes one thing off of her plate — she doesn’t have to ask for specific things but is able to make the final decision.
“I think some part of postpartum feels like everything’s just kind of happening around you,” Rogers said, “and I like being in charge of the final decision of what I’m in the mood for at that time.”
In times of immense change, new moms need community more than ever.
A 2023 BabyCenter survey found that only 43% of moms feel they have enough support during the postpartum period. The percentage is even lower for moms of color.
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Motherhood can be an isolating experience, so community is incredibly important. Even if a new mom has a supportive spouse or significant other by her side, the support of her friends is invaluable, and offering to help goes a long way.
She may just want to chat with another adult or maybe she will take you up on the offer for uninterrupted sleep. Either way, she just birthed an entire human being, so do what you can to show up as a supportive friend.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
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