I’m 39 years old, never married, have a stable job, and own a small apartment close to my workplace. Despite my age, I look youthful and often stand out in groups due to my attractive appearance. I’ve been through two serious relationships before, both of which were headed towards marriage but ultimately ended due to conflicts, leaving me heartbroken and full of regret.
For the past two months, I’ve been dating a man who is two years older than me. He’s divorced, has no children, and works as a traditional medicine doctor at a private clinic 60 kilometers away from my home. We met online and have been taking our relationship seriously, with plans to live at my place and he would visit his home once or twice a week if we marry.
Over the past month, he’s made time every weekend to ride his motorbike to see me, and we’ve enjoyed meals together. We share common interests in Buddhism and history, and I appreciate his mature and thoughtful perspective on life.
Last weekend, which coincided with Vietnamese Women’s Day on October 20, my mother was visiting from our hometown. I suggested that my boyfriend come over and told him that there was no need to bring flowers, just some fruit would be fine. I’m not one to be overly formal, and I tend to worry about others being burdened with unnecessary expenses. His salary is just over VND20 million (US$787), and he still has about VND100 million in debt from building his house in his hometown a few years ago.
When he arrived, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Bringing a fruit basket or a variety of fruits would have been a more thoughtful, respectful, and appropriate gesture when meeting an elder. Meeting my mother was a chance to gain her support and strengthen our relationship if we intended to be together, but he seemed to miss the opportunity to impress her.
After he returned to his clinic, I thanked him for traveling so far to visit. I also gently mentioned that for such an important occasion, his choice of gift wasn’t quite fitting. He acknowledged his lack of sensitivity and said he would be more considerate in the future.
Despite his willingness to learn from this, I’m considering ending our relationship. Am I overreacting and being too critical of the situation?
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