I have always felt that money matters within a family are the hardest to handle. Some things seem very clear when you look at them from the outside, but when you are actually in that situation, everything suddenly becomes much more complicated.
In 1990, when I was only a few years old and my mother was pregnant with my younger brother, my father decided to give all our assets at the time to my uncle so he could move to Ho Chi Minh City and build a career. Back then, everything my parents had was two-tenths of a tael of gold (1 tael = 37.5 grams or 1.2 ounces).
My father once bought 1,000 square meters of well-located land in our hometown with just half that amount of gold. My family is still living on that land today.
At that time, my mother even knelt down and begged my father to keep some of the gold in case they needed money for childbirth. But my father still insisted on giving everything to his younger brother. He believed that if his brother succeeded in the city, his life would change for the better and he would eventually repay us.
After moving, my uncle managed to build a successful business and became increasingly wealthy. Now he owns several houses in the city, each worth billions of dong (VND1 billion = 38,000), as well as land and property in our hometown.
But his wife firmly refused to let him repay the gold he owed my parents.
Because of that, my father has resented the uncle for years. Whenever he met his brother, he would reproach him and call him ungrateful.
It was only a few years ago, when my father became seriously ill, that my uncle finally gave him back the exact same amount of gold he had received decades earlier. He even told my father to keep it a secret from his wife.
That story has made me think a lot about money given to relatives. Now I find myself in a somewhat similar situation.
My younger brother owes me nearly VND100 million, and honestly the chances of him paying it back are very slim. I do not want to repeat my father’s mistake of lending money and then carrying resentment for years. But because we are family, I also found it hard not to help him out.
People often say money matters should be kept clear and straightforward. But when the people involved are your siblings, all that logic somehow becomes less clear.
Sometimes I ask myself: when it comes to money between relatives, is there really a clear right or wrong answer?
*This opinion was submitted by a reader. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match Read’ viewpoints.
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