Dating and falling in love after 50 looks different than dating and falling in love in your 20s. It stands to reason, then, that what drives true love and happiness for couples varies as well. So much so, that researchers found that the simple secret to love and a happy life for more mature couples had nothing to do with marriage but everything to do with sharing space together.
The study led by psychologist Iris Wahring sought to examine life satisfaction in couples who enter new relationships after the age of 50. Their results found that “Moving in together, whether accompanied by marriage or not, was associated with increased life satisfaction, while marriage among those already cohabiting was not.” To put it simply, mature, newly dating couples find greater happiness in simply living together rather than getting married.
Science finds that living together is the secret to love and happiness after 50.
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Using data from the US Health and Retirement Study, researchers analyzed the life satisfaction of nearly 3,000 participants between the ages of 50 and 95 and how that feeling changed based on moving in together and getting married.
What they found was that living together had a greater impact on life satisfaction than getting married. But what really sealed the deal when it came to the results was the fact that life satisfaction did not increase for couples who were already living together and then decided to marry. “Our results show that the bonus for well-being is already achieved by sharing a life together in a partnership,” explained Wahring. “The marriage itself does not offer any measurable additional gain in life happiness for couples who already share a table and a bed.”
Dating over 50 is about finding someone who enhances your current life.
Choosing a partner at an older age isn’t about starting life; it’s about complementing your established life. It isn’t solely focused on having kids, joining financials, or figuring yourself out. It prioritizes spending and sharing time with this person, going through experiences together, and having a support system.
Dating and relationship coach Angela Nicole Holton, MSW, told VeryWellMind, “Dating during your 50s and 60s can look and feel differently compared to dating in earlier adulthood.” You already have an established life, so dating is more about finding someone to enhance what you already have, which explains why marriage isn’t such an important factor anymore.
She went on to say, “You have a better idea of who you are, what you want out of a relationship, and the type of partner you desire. These are all benefits to making dating a little less frustrating and finding more enjoyment in it.”
You’re at a point in life where you can be picky. Wahring added, “As people age, they increasingly prioritize these close, stable relationships, while peripheral contact with acquaintances decreases in number and frequency.”
Without societal pressure to marry, couples are just as content to live together without tying the knot.
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Societal pressure to marry and have kids is reserved for younger people. Those pressures are gone once you hit 50. Rather, choosing a partner has a sweeter connotation rooted in companionship. Moving in makes sense.
As demographer Joseph Chamie explained, “Cohabitation offers an opportunity for couples to get to know each other in a shared living environment. It permits couples to assess their compatibility and areas of discordance before deciding whether they wish to enter a marriage or remain cohabitating.”
There is a societal shift toward accepting couples of any age without the bindings of traditional marriage, but for couples finding love later in life, it’s affirmed by the simple fact that living together makes people happier than walking down the aisle.
Emi Magaña is a writer from Los Angeles with a bachelor’s in English. She covers entertainment, news, and the real human experience.
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