Financial compatibility has always been an important part of a healthy relationship, but new research shows there’s more to it than simply being on the same page about spending. A study found that spouses who think their partners are savers instead of spenders have happier relationships.
Lead author of the study, Jamie Lynn Byram, noted, “Across the board, couples in which partners viewed each other as savers (rather than spenders) reported higher levels of marital happiness and financial well-being.” She added, “They felt they had enough money for what they wanted and felt they were meeting goals together when their partner was focused on saving for their future.”
That simple belief in their partner’s money habits brought security and stability to the relationship as a whole, making their marriages stronger and happier.
If you think your husband is a saver instead of a spender when it comes to money, you probably have a happy marriage.
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While it might seem obvious that leaning toward frugality is more appealing in a spouse than spending beyond one’s means, the interesting thing about the study wasn’t so much the actual spending and budgeting habits. It was all about how a spouse perceived those spending habits.
Spouses only derived that sense of satisfaction from what they thought of their partners’ spending habits, not even their own. John Grable, co-author of the study, explained, “Perceptions matter more than reality. “We see that financial satisfaction is deeply relational, influenced less by what partners do and more by how actions are perceived.”
Wives are happier in relationships when they perceive their husbands as savers.
The research found that, in general, spouses were happier in relationships with perceived spenders, but this effect was even more pronounced when wives perceived their husbands as savers.
What was interesting was that if a wife admitted she enjoyed being a spender, it increased a husband’s satisfaction in the relationship because it meant he was providing her enough to live the lifestyle she wanted.
“Each person’s happiness is separate. So, if she says she loves to spend, his marital satisfaction increases because he feels like he provided enough money to where the woman could say she’s a spender,” Byram explained. “For the wife, if her husband is saving, it says to her that he is committed to their financial future.”
Despite opposite perceptions between husbands and wives, both partners agreed that communication about finances was integral to the success of the relationship.
Talking about money is important in relationships, but it is also often avoided.
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According to an American Psychological Association survey, a whopping 72% of couples in the U.S. said that money caused stress in their relationships. Instead of dealing with the issue, however, most couples ignore the money topic entirely, hoping that not talking about it will erase the tension. Instead, it usually snowballs and gets worse.
A 2024 study from Cornell University found that the greater the money stress in a relationship, the more couples avoided talking about it. Research co-author Emily Garbinsky told CNBC, “When people feel stressed, they are more likely to think that if they initiate these conversations with their partner, it’s just going to lead to a fight, which is going to make them more stressed.”
Financial expert Ramit Sethi said that most couples only bring up money when something big happens in the relationship, such as a partner losing their job, planning a family, or needing to make a big purchase like a house. What they should be doing, however, is talking about money as often and as comfortably as they talk about their day. The more you discuss financials the less stressful they become.
Sethi stressed, “You don’t have to solve every problem in one conversation. But you do have to start talking — honestly, regularly, and with love.”
Key boundaries and priorities must be discussed and constructed early on in the relationship. Sharing each other’s personal views on finances is a mature and necessary conversation to have to check alignment and seek mutual compromises, allowing both partners to be seen and respected. This way, as Byram explained, “when financial things come up, you’ll have more of an understanding of why your partner reacted the way they did.”
Talk it out with your partner. Figure out your needs over your wants, and don’t purchase beyond your means. It’s a balance of people, behaviors, and finances.
Emi Magaña is a writer from Los Angeles with a bachelor’s in English. She covers entertainment, news, and the real human experience.
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