Deciding how to split the check after a group meal often causes issues. Should everyone pay for what they ordered, or should the bill be split evenly? Few can agree.
When a group of siblings took their mom out for a nice meal, this very issue arose, leaving one sister on the outs. With no kids of her own, why were her family members asking for her to split the bill that included nearly adult kids?
Two older siblings wanted to split a family lunch bill equally even though they have kids and their younger sister doesn’t.
“I have two older sisters (both over 30 years old) while I’m still in my 20s,” the woman wrote in a since-deleted Reddit post.
“The thing is, they suggested to invite my mom to lunch for Mother’s Day and they were talking about splitting the expenses in three parts,” she continued. “Both of them have two kids each while I don’t.”
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Obviously, it wouldn’t be fair for this woman to pay the same price as her sister’s. After all, her nieces and nephews aren’t her children, so she shouldn’t have to pay for their meals.
However, her sisters didn’t see it that way and this very issue has caused problems in the past.
“Given past bad experiences where the kids were not contemplated in the bill but still would eat, I told them I did not like the idea of splitting in three since their kids should be taken into account,” she shared. “Mind you, the kids are not babies. One of them will soon turn 18.”
Her siblings didn’t take the suggestion well. “At the mention of that, they … called me confrontational and my mom even found out and took their side, as per usual,” she said.
The woman admitted that this wasn’t an isolated incident.
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“To give you some more context as to why it bothers me, a similar experience happened before during a trip where I had to pay a third of all the expenses, my mom another and my sister another (husband and kids included),” she wrote.
Apparently, her sister thought she was unaware of the discrepancy and wanted to keep it that way. “She thought my mom and I were oblivious about the whole thing but my mom begged me to not say anything, to not start a fight, but now I think I’ve held my silence for (too) long,” she admitted.
There are many different factors to consider when deciding how to split a meal bill.
According to NPR“Splitting the bill is a fine art.” Surely this sister would agree after all she has been through with her older siblings.
Food editor and former co-chef Kiki Aranita told NPR that everyone should leave the meal with “a sense of equality in how the check is divvied up.” This can be difficult to achieve; however, when people have different views of what equality is, as they do in this situation.
In the future, this woman should make it known early on that she would not like to split the bill and pay for her meal separately — advice both Aranita and New York-based etiquette trainer Mariah Grumet emphasize.
“When you’re ready to order, tell your server you want your food and drinks on a separate check,” Aranita suggested. “It’s easier to deal with than having to split a check on complicated percentages at the end of the night.”
Splitting the bill in a way that feels equal, rather than what is mathematically equal, is completely appropriate. While it may be a harsh truth for her siblings to hear, their sister is under obligation to chip in for their children’s food.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.
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