True confidence is one of those rare traits that everyone notices but we don’t see often. It’s also a trait that we all secretly want.
Have you ever seen a woman so put together, so secure in her being that you can’t help but wonder how she is the way she is? Well, these women oozing with confidence all share a host of traits that you can embody too.
Here are 7 subtle traits of secure women with a confident aura:
Women’s confidence coach Shazmeera Qadri shared what she learned after spending time around confident and secure women. The secret, apparently, is in their subtlety.
A confident aura doesn’t hit you over the head. It’s a state of being that commands attention and respect.
1. They’re generous with their energy but stingy with their time
When you hang out with secure women, they will give you their full attention and energy. They’ll engage with you and really enjoy themselves around you, however they’re selective of when they choose to socialize.
Implementing this type of time management in your own life can be beneficial, as you can allot space for the people you need to meet and the tasks you need to complete, but figure out how much energy you need to pour into each interaction or activity.
2. They don’t take things personally
“They can process anything you’re saying, and they see it as a reflection of how you see yourself and not actually them,” Qadri said.
Often, people speak from a place of insecurity or will respond to what you say based on their own experiences. Confident women are aware of this, which is why they don’t take things too personally when others speak to them.
In fact, a study from 2020 found that people who ruminate on critical interactions instead of taking it in and moving on struggle with problem-solving skills and are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. Overthinking is not beneficial in most circumstances, and confident women are able to take a bad experience and let it go without replaying it in their minds until they feel weak.
3. They’re consistent in everything they do
Women with a confident aura always give 100% in everything they set their minds to. They don’t give half their energy or a quarter, they give it all no matter what.
It’s not about over-exerting yourself. They take rest when they need it, but a secure woman knows how important it is to show up when you commit.
Life coach Jay Shetty explained, “If you’re on a climbing wall, a confident person is not just talking about the top. A confident person is just trying to place their next footstep correctly. That’s what you’re trying to do with your intentions and motivations as well. You’re not trying to falsely appear greater than you are to be confident. You’re just trying to make sure you place your next move.”
Practicing consistency in everything you do can help ensure results. You can start yourself off by practicing consistency in small goals. From there, you can begin changing the goalposts to fit your newfound capabilities, but you have to have a starting point.
4. They’re very forgiving
Confident women are very forgiving of others — within reason, of course. They’re not going to hold grudges against you, but that doesn’t mean they’ll let you treat them poorly.
According to Psychology Todaypracticing forgiveness allows you to become more forgiving of yourself and helps you leave the past behind.
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5. They work hard and play hard
Secure women get their work done no matter what. They are focused on earning money for themselves and building their finances. They balance this with having fun with their friends and doing what they want, whenever they want. They know they need to have an equal amount of work and fun in their lives to achieve what they want for themselves.
Research performed by Professor Lonnie Aarssen, a biologist at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, found there is, in fact, a strong correlation between attraction to accomplishments and attraction to leisure when surveying students at his university. That means to be successful, you need to learn how to balance work and pleasure.
6. They’re constantly bettering themselves
They don’t sit around hoping and wishing their lives will get better; they take action. They choose to pursue the best version of themselves every day.
According to Verywellmind, each of us is a work in progress who is capable of setting new goals and developing habits that can help us improve our well-being. That means realistic and achievable goals, not pie-in-the-sky resolutions that result in defeat and failure. Confidence comes from knowing that each day is a chance to improve.
Remember, security and confidence are not perfection.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.
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