Having an intimidating presence isn’t usually thought of as a positive characteristic. But what happens if you’re intimidating others and don’t even know it? Chances are you’d want to know.
For some, confidence and healthy self-esteem are misinterpreted as intimidating. That makes sense mostly because others lack similar personality traits. Social anxiety and shyness can even be misconstrued as standoffish and intimidating. Think of the quiet stereotype often thought of as mysterious and brooding.
Regardless of how you view yourself, you might be intimidating to others without even realizing it.
Here are 3 weird signs people find you intimidating, according to psychology:
According to UCLA psychology student @baldiyadi on TikTokthere are three often overlooked signs that people find you intimidating, and you might even consider these “weird.”
1. You don’t get a ton of engagement on social media
It might seem a bit counterintuitive, but if you post on social media and you rarely get likes or comments, it could be a sign people are holding back around you.
“People expect that you are already getting a lot of DMs from other people because you’re an intimidating person,” Yadi explained.
“If you’re intimidating, that also means you’re likely attractive, so why would they ever compliment you when you already know that you’re attractive?”
People who come off as intimidating often share an “I don’t compete with you” kind of mindsetwhere they’re more focused on their own confidence and growth rather than competing with others for attention or validation.
This mindset, while healthy, can also be isolating.
2. You don’t have a ton of best friends
“You might have a lot of friends here and there, but you don’t have a lot of best friends,” Yadi shared.
“You have an aura that other people are reluctant to be around because they deem you to be better than them.”
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Being intimidating can make it hard for people to connect with you.
Instead of feeling drawn towards you, they shy away — either protecting themselves from feeling inferior or struggling to find common ground amid their own insecurities.
3. When you’re speaking, other people get quiet
If you have an intimidating presence, whether you’re aware of it or not, you tend to control the room — even without making an effort to. When you walk into a room, the energy shifts. When you start talking, everyone else gets quiet and listens in.
“You have a presence that other people know to let go before them,” Yadi explained. “It’s a really good sign because you own a room, and you’re not scared of it.”
Of course, being intimidating doesn’t have to be a bad thing, especially for women.
If you’re a confident, successful, and strong woman, you’ll find your people. Don’t let others “put you in a box,” like creator @anggblake on TikTok argued, simply for having a strong presence.
You don’t need to explain or validate your self-worth to anyone but yourself, even in a room of people who view you in a misguided way. Your authentic energy and personality will shine through to the people who are meant to be in your life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories
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