What is demisexuality? Singer Tulisa reveals about her sexual orientation- Here is all you need to know

Singer Tulisa recently revealed eher secual orientation as demisexual. Read on to know more about demisexuality.

Non conformity to the norm is never easy. It comes confusions, confinement and lack of comprehension. Self identity defines who we ae. How we feel, what we think is what makes us, us. Recently, UK singer Tulisa opened in a reality show and talked about identifying as ‘demisexual’. On last night’s ep of I’m A Celeb“I’m proper guarded. I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone… I need actual depth. I’m a slow, slow burner. I’ve been celibate for over three years.”

What is the meaning of Demisexual?

Demisexulity is kind of sexual orientation where an individual experiences a sense of sexual attraction only after forming a close emotional bond with the other person. Speaking to Cosmopolitan, BACP member Karen Pollock, a counsellor and psychotherapist in private practice, working with gender, sex, and relationship diversity said, “As with all sexual orientations, it describes feelings, not behaviours. Some demisexuals can, and do, have sex and can be in relationships with and/or sexually attracted to people of all genders. Demisexuals can also be sex repulsed, sex neutral, or sex favourable, just like anyone else.”

Demisexuality falls under the umbrella term ‘asexual’. In the show, Tulisa explained how she not “overly sexualised person”.

On few occasions, people who identify as demisexual have opened up about facing certain challenges as teengaers and trying to follow the code of casual dating. The former ‘X Factor‘ judge shared how she often feels  “physically sick” to imagine sleeping with someone she doesn’t have any connection with. “This is my temple, you cannot enter!”

Under the asexual spectrum, demisexuals are less likely to experience have sudden sexual attraction towards someone they probably just met on a  first date. They require to build a connect, a bond. However, demisexual voices are relatively uncommon in conversations about sex or identity, and many people might not be aware of it as well.

With more candid yet insightful conversations about sexual orientation, the knowledge may help people navigate their way to life.