A husband and father questioned if he was being unreasonable for telling his wife that she shouldn’t make a big fuss over a recent debacle involving their 10-year-old daughter and another kid at school who was messing with her.
In a since-deleted Reddit postthe 35-year-old admitted that he’s not too worried about his daughter despite his wife not having the same reaction.
A husband told his wife to ignore an ‘issue’ their daughter is having with another kid at school.
“My wife and I have 2 kids. We live in a school district that has already started school, and our kids have been in classes for about 2-3 weeks now. Our daughter has been having an issue with her lunch being stolen a few times a week,” he wrote.
He explained that their daughter’s school doesn’t offer free breakfast and lunch, and parents have to constantly keep money in their children’s accounts in case they want to eat lunch, or else they won’t be able to.
Since that’s what they do for their 10-year-old daughter, he pointed out that even though her lunch is stolen, she’s never hungry because she always has money to get food from the lunch line.
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Since his wife works the night shift as a nurse, it’s his responsibility to get the kids up and ready for school each morning, including packing their lunches. The first few times his daughter’s lunch was stolen, he simply told her to eat the meal provided at school, but after a while, she told him that she preferred having a lunch packed from home instead.
“So, I started making 2 lunches for her and told her to hide one in her backpack instead of bringing it into the classroom where the other lunches are. I’ve also talked with her teacher about it, and she said she would be more vigilant about the lunches. But that hasn’t stopped them from being stolen,” he continued, adding that his daughter isn’t the only kid at school having this issue.
Despite his attitude about the stolen lunches, his wife doesn’t share that same sentiment and wants to bring it up with the principal, superintendent, the school board, and any other school administrators who can either help or put an end to it.
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She believes that whoever is stealing their daughter’s lunches is actively bullying her, and it shouldn’t be encouraged or brushed away as a juvenile act.
“The way I see it, whoever is taking lunches probably needs that food more than my daughter does. If their family had means of providing packed lunches, I would assume they would do so. My feeling is that whichever kid is stealing lunches is hungry, and I don’t want to compound that by making this a bigger issue,” he argued.
His wife accused him of not protecting their daughter by ignoring this issue.
Chances are, the husband is right, and the lunch thief is a hungry kid who is struggling at home. As heartbreaking as that notion is, their daughter is suffering for it, and that’s not acceptable either.
It’s also not their responsibility to look the other way when a child is stealing, even if the circumstances call for it. If they were to get to the bottom of the issue, they might be able to discover more information, potentially seek help, and come up with a better solution to help that child who may be crying out for help with their actions. In fact, research has shown a correlation between hunger and bullying — kids who are hungry and suffer from chronic food insecurity are more likely to bully others and be bullied themselves.
However, the solution shouldn’t be him turning a blind eye to it. That helps no one.
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Parents have a duty to make sure that their children are safe and thriving even at school.
To him, a stolen lunch may not be that big of a deal, but she shouldn’t have to carry two lunches or buy lunch in the cafeteria when it isn’t her fault that her meals are being taken in the first place.
“My wife and I got into an argument about this because she wants to send an email to anyone and everyone at the school district that she feels ‘needs to know about this.’ I told her that we should wait and see if the teacher can figure out who the kid is and we can handle this without bringing the whole school district down on this kid and their family,” he added.
Because of his demeanor and nonchalance about the issue, his wife has accused him of not protecting their daughter and having her back in this situation. But he doesn’t see it that way, pointing out that their daughter isn’t going hungry because of a stolen lunch, and if they have the means to pack two lunches so a hungry kid can have access to at least one of them, then he’ll do it.
His heart is in the right place when it comes to not wanting to single out a child who could potentially be suffering, but that’s not his child. His daughter is the one who’s being affected by it, and he should also put just a little bit of concern into her well-being.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
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