According to the journal Emerging Infectious Diseases8% of the global population live with autoimmune diseases. Of that 8%, 78% are women.
Much research has been done to determine exactly why women are so prone to developing such diseases. Of course, scientists and doctors have many theories. One thing they don’t often address, though, is trauma.
A trauma expert explained that women who go on to develop autoimmune diseases tend to have 4 traits in common.
Dr. Gabor Mate is a trauma expert. His book, ‘The Myth of Normal,’ discusses how trauma affects our bodies and minds. He recently joined The Mel Robbins Podcast to discuss the topic.
Maté explained that autoimmune diseases are “diseases where the immune system attacks the body that it’s supposed to protect.” He asserted that, for women, these diseases are all about the stress the body carries.
He then revealed four shared attributes of women who tend to develop these diseases.
1. They put others’ emotional needs before their own.
Caring about others and practicing compassion is a good thing. However, sometimes it can be taken to an unhealthy extreme.
VeryWell Mind classified this as a form of people-pleasing. “Although being kind and helpful is generally a good thing,” they wrote, “going too far to please others can leave you emotionally depleted, stressed and anxious.”
It’s, of course, nice to support others, especially when they’re in need. But when women consistently put others’ needs above their own, they’re almost guaranteeing that they’ll burn out.
It’s one of the quickest paths to stress, and, as Maté pointed out, “stress undermines the immune system, which then turns against you.”
2. They strongly identify with duty, role, and responsibility.
From a young age, many women are taught that they have a very specific role to play in society. They are to be the wives and mothers — the ultimate caregivers. That responsibility, of course, must come before their own needs.
“In today’s society, women’s roles often include family obligations, caregiving for children and/or elderly parent (statistically more likely to be a woman) and work responsibilities as well as other roles,” the Cleveland Clinic noted.
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“As demands increase to fulfill these roles, women can feel overwhelmed with time pressures and unmet obligations,” they continued. “They may feel a sense of failure in not being able to meet expectations for themselves and others. Oftentimes, women spend more time meeting the needs of others rather than nurturing their own needs.”
This, as mentioned in the previous point, leads to stress. And, from mental concerns health like depression and anxiety to physical manifestations, like headaches, heart problems, obesity, and autoimmune diseases, the effects of this stress are undeniable.
3. They repress healthy anger.
Dr. Maté argued that there is societal pressure on women to be nice. Anger is not a “nice” emotion, and it’s not very ladylike, so women are taught to suppress it and ignore it as much as possible.
Counselor Sarah Moore said“Many women worry that the people in their lives will be put off by their anger. Even when they have been mistreated, they may be nervous about speaking up and expressing their emotions.”
Women have been taught through the generations that they are supposed to push down any feelings of anger and not express them. This build-up, once again, leads to stress.
4. They believe they’re responsible for others’ feelings.
Dr. Maté said that women often feel that they can “never disappoint anybody.” That is a lot of responsibility to take on, but it’s an accurate description.
Moore addressed this point as well. She wrote that feeling responsible for others’ emotions is one of the reasons women suppress their anger.
“If you are like a lot of women, you may feel like you are responsible for managing the emotions of others,” she stated. “Thus, you might fear that being honest about your anger will provoke a negative reaction from your husband, children, relatives, or others in your social circle.”
The need to make sure everyone else is feeling as positive as possible is yet another major stressor, as it causes one to ignore their own emotions.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
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