Women on social media are debating over the “hidden fees” associated with getting prepared for dates.
One New York City-based TikTokker explained that she refuses to split the bill on a date because she’s “actually splitting the bill before [she] even gets to the date.”
“Regardless of the cost of the check at the end of the date, I am spending money to show up,” Nancy shared.
The user explained that as soon as she has a date scheduled, she books a Cycle Bar class ($38), gets her eyebrows done ($38 + $10 tip), gets a manicure ($75 + $10 tip) — and she continued to list the cost of all her beauty and hair products.
She continued to say that even if she already did her brows or manicure earlier in the week, it takes her a whole day to get ready: She has to plan her outfit, plan her hair wash schedule, and be mindful about what she eats before the date. “I love garlic knots, I’m not having garlic knots to pregame,” she joked.
“Add then a guy is gonna ask you to split the bill on the date when he won’t even split the conversation,” she said. “I spent all this time and money to get to the date, I am not taking my credit card out once I’m there.”
While many people online agreed that a woman shouldn’t split the bill on a first date, they didn’t think that the cost of getting ready was a fair reasoning — and podcast host Kimberly Murstein echoed that.
“I’d be offended if a man didn’t offer to pay for the first date, but not specifically because of all the beauty treatments I got,” the Palm Beach and NYC-based creator told the Daily Mail.
Murstein — who co-hosts the podcast “Excuse My Grandma,” where she talks about dating with her grandma Gail — said she gets manicures regularly, but does also schedule a mani/pedi right before a date as well as a blowout when she first starts dating someone, which is usually between $60-80 on Glamsquad.
“Later on in dating, you start thinking about things like waxing or laser appointments too — so it all adds up,” she shared.
Meanwhile, Gail has been married for more than 60 years and has more low-key date nights with her husband where she “usually goes for a sweater and pants and doesn’t feel the need to try as hard” — but glam is still important.
“Don’t get it twisted, she will always have her hair blown out, date night or not,” Murstein laughed speaking of her grandma.
“I do think it takes me longer to get ready than it does for a guy, and that should be acknowledged with a compliment of some sort,” she said. “But mostly, I stand with my grandma on the principle that a guy should take care of the first date.”
Though Murstein never wants to split the bill, she always does “the reach,” going for her wallet and acting like she’ll pay.
“Of course, after the first few dates, it’s up to the couple to figure out how they want to handle finances going forward,” she said.
Meanwhile, a financial empowerment expert also agreed that the man should be the one paying on a date.
“Call me old fashioned, but I don’t think a woman should split the bill under any circumstances,” Amanda Frances, who offers digital courses that focus on sharing investment advice with women, told the Daily Mail.
The financial empowerment expert based in Newport Beach, California, has been in a relationship for a few years, but when she was single, she believed that even though she could take care of herself and made money, there was “just something about the type of man who would never let you pay for dinner.”
Frances also noted that while beauty and exercise are important for yourself, it shouldn’t be done specifically for the men you’re going on dates with.
“If doing some sort of treatment puts you in a calm and confident state for a date, then definitely do that for yourself, but he should be paying regardless,” she said. “I don’t think we should be doing any skincare, treatments or procedures for men – but we absolutely should be doing them for ourselves.”
“If your rent/mortgage is paid, you’ve met her savings and investment goals for the month – then by all means… do all the beauty treatments you desire,” she advised. “Personally, my weekly blowout, in-home mani/pedi, and monthly facial are non-negotiable.”
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