Being an empath is not for the weak. As an empath myself, I’ve had to interact with tons of people throughout my life, so it’s gotten easier to categorize who’s worth being around and whose energy to stay away from if possible.
Similarly, Jenna, a psychic and empath, recently shared on TikTok that because she feels things deeply, she has learned that to protect her peace, there are certain people she simply goes out of her way to avoid.
Empathy is a skill cultivated by years of observing others and being curious about what it would be like to be the other person. It comes more naturally to some people, and eventually it just becomes an instinct to look at the world from another person’s perspective. This isn’t without its negatives, however. Depending on who is around, an empath can be drained easily, and that emotional exhaustion can take a toll.
Temperamental people
Having an overabundance of empathy can mean the difference between observing someone who’s temperamental or constantly shifting moods, and actually shifting moods with them. This can be exhausting, as not only are empathic people trying to regulate their own emotions, they often absorb and subconsciously try to regulate other people’s as well.
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Based on findings from sensitivity expert Brooke Nielsen, LMFT, “Just being around someone in a bad mood (in person or online) can be enough to absorb their mood as our own.” If you find yourself distancing yourself from temperamental people, or see another person doing so, it could be a sign of trying to regulate empathic tendencies.
Mean-spirited people
While this may seem objectively true for everyone (no one wants to be around meanness), empathic people are unusually attuned to the harshness of the world and can spot when other people are trying to exact that harshness onto others.
Psychic and empath Jenna used the example of people who are intentionally rude to servers and other customer service staff. Whether it’s a power play or a lack of empathy, for people who are attuned to the emotions of others, it’s a really bad vibe.
According to BetterHelp, “Emotional absorption is a key tenet of an empath. They may be able to read the social stimuli of a room and immediately sense the atmosphere without a spoken word.” This means that while normal people might not catch on to someone being rude, empathic people can sense it from a mile away. They’re more likely to avoid these people as a result.
Scattered people
It’s common for everyone to have moments where life just feels totally out of control, and as a result we show up feeling messy and scattered and all over the place. However, when someone is scattered all the time, making it their personal brand to be unpredictable, empathic people prefer not to be around it.
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More observant people might be able to view a scattered person without getting rattled. Empathic people, not so much. Judith Orloff, M.D, said that, “Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. Even energy vampires — people who feed off your energy to compensate for a lack of their own — aren’t generally intending to sap you, yet still they do.”
It’s not an empath’s job to sort out others’ scattered minds, yet they instinctively feel they have to. In that case, it’s best for them to just walk away.
Fake people
It’s true that nobody really enjoys being around people who lack authenticity, but empathic people genuinely detest it. As mentioned, empaths are keenly aware of the social and emotional worlds of others, both spoken and unspoken. When they come across someone who they perceive to be hiding their true nature, it can feel almost insulting to their intuitive minds.
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According to empath Jacob Vandersluys, “[Empaths] know that these fake people are not necessarily bad or evil, but they do know that this person still needs a lot of ‘work.’” Therefore, they’re more likely to avoid the person if they can tell their emotional state hasn’t matured enough to form a real connection.
Detached people
The type that might be the inverse of empathic people, whom they try to avoid, are detached people. In general, detached people aren’t always trying to harm others. However, it can be exhausting for an empathic person to be around one if they’re constantly having to remind the detached person to have a little sensitivity to the emotions of others.
And if there’s one thing for certain, empathic people have little patience for dealing with people who choose not to have empathy. It can be distressing to be in any type of relationship where one is simply more emotionally open and demonstrative with their care for the other person and society at large. While detachment can be helpful as a skill for empaths, detached people aren’t always worth the energy.
It takes a lot of courage for an empath to go about their day in a world that can feel cold and unfeeling. So, if an empathic person is avoiding certain types of people, they must’ve learned to shield their sensitive hearts from being taken advantage of. In any case, keep being you and walk away when you have to.
Luke Aliga is a writer with a degree in Technical Writing and Communication who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
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