Ben Affleck has shared a humorous insight into his parenting journey, revealing that his three children believe he falls short of their mother, Jennifer Garner, when it comes to raising them. The actor joked that while he considers himself about “75 per cent as good” a parent as his ex-wife, his children would give him a rating of just “40 per cent”.
Despite the lighthearted comparison, Affleck spoke warmly about Garner, praising her as a wonderful mother and highlighting the mutual respect they share while co-parenting their children.
During an interview with Willie Geist on Sunday TODAY, Affleck discussed raising his three children with Garner: Violet, 20, Seraphina, 17, and Samuel, 14. He laughed about the difference between his own assessment of his parenting and the score his children apparently give him, even jokingly awarding himself a B-plus.
The former couple share custody on a week-on, week-off schedule, and Affleck said he plans his professional commitments around spending time near his children.
His comments offer a relatable glimpse into co-parenting after divorce and raise an interesting question: why might children perceive one parent as better at parenting than the other?
Why Children May Rate Their Parents Differently
Children do not necessarily judge both parents by the same standards. Their perceptions can be shaped by differences in parenting styles, household rules, emotional availability and the roles each parent plays in their daily lives.
A 2008 study by Cliff McKinney and Kimberly Renk, published in the Journal of Family Issues, examined differences in how mothers and fathers parent and how older adolescents and young adults evaluate them. The research suggested that young people may assess each parent separately and that these perceptions can be associated with their emotional adjustment.
The study also highlighted the potential protective role of having at least one authoritative parent — someone who combines warmth and support with clear boundaries.
This means a child’s lower rating of one parent does not automatically indicate poor parenting. Children may respond differently to each parent’s approach, expectations and relationship with them.
How Co-Parenting After Divorce Affects Children
The way separated or divorced parents interact can influence their children’s emotional and behavioural well-being.
A 2020 review published in Clinical Psychology Review, which examined 115 groups of divorced families involving 24,854 families, explored how conflict between former partners and parenting practices affect children. The findings linked greater interparental conflict and harsh or unsupportive parenting with an increased likelihood of emotional and behavioural difficulties in children.
The research also indicated that parenting behaviour can help explain these associations.
The findings underline the importance of maintaining supportive relationships with children and reducing conflict between co-parents. Rather than competing to be seen as the “better” parent, former partners can focus on providing stability, care and consistent support.
Why Children Benefit When Parents Get Along
Children can be affected not only by how their parents treat them but also by how their parents treat each other.
A 2020 meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin, which reviewed 169 studies, examined links between the quality of parents’ relationships, conflict and children’s emotional and behavioural difficulties. The findings highlighted the importance of the family environment and how parents manage disagreements.
When parents communicate respectfully and avoid involving children in their disputes, they can help create a more predictable and supportive environment. Persistent conflict, on the other hand, can place additional emotional pressure on children.
Affleck’s comments about his respect for Garner illustrate how co-parenting can involve acknowledging the other parent’s strengths rather than turning parenting into a competition.
The Takeaway: Co-Parenting Is Not About Winning
Ben Affleck’s joke about receiving a lower parenting rating from his children may be lighthearted, but it touches on a familiar family dynamic. Children can experience their relationships with each parent differently, and their perceptions may change as they grow older.
Research suggests that supportive parenting, emotional availability and the way parents manage conflict can all matter to children’s well-being.
Ultimately, successful co-parenting is not about matching scores or proving which parent is better. It is about creating a stable, caring environment in which children feel supported by both parents.